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An “I Miss You Letter” From My Dog

Hey, Sean!

I thought I just saw your car out the window so I wanted to say hi. There’s a lot I need to tell you.

They took your bed out of your room! What?! I mean, you’re coming back, right? They’re making me sleep on the floor now. I keep asking to sleep in Mom and Dad’s bed, but Dad is allergic to my fur. If I was allergic to him, I would make him sleep on the floor.

I’ve lost weight. I’m too skinny now because I’m not getting half of your dinner every night. My pouty eyes don’t work on Mom. She’s a stone cold woman that I also love because she takes me for walks. She misses you too, but clearly not as much as I do because she’s gaining weight. She should take me on more walks.The mailman is doing well. I’m still cat-calling him whenever he comes around, which as a dog means I yell aggressively and make threats. I hate cats. I think I hate the mailman too, but I get really sad on Sundays when he doesn’t come. Maybe I have a crush on him (even though you’re my one true love).

Liam just moved to Texas. I don’t really care as much because he never took me for walks, but I thought you’d wanna know. In case you go to visit him and maybe you could send me a steak or something.

I miss you. Please come home soon because I’m not sleeping or eating right without you. I’m still in the window every day, wondering why you’re the one that stopped coming back. Why you? You know all my spots, my favorite toys, my biggest fears (balloons)…I’m getting all teary eyed.

I’m going to give this to dad so he can send it. Could you imagine me at the post office? Is that your car?! No? Aw.

Love you,

Loki

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