Break-ups suck, which may also be known as the world’s greatest understatement. Like anyone going through a serious break-up, I instantly fell into an existential crisis which consisted of angsty music and long car rides. While reinventing myself, I recommended Machine Gun Kelly’s new album, “Tickets to My Downfall”. “Tickets to My Downfall” quickly became my Fall 2020 album as I connected every moody lyric to my own personal breakup.
The song “Title Track” acted as the beginning to any breakdown. The song opened up with soft guitar instrumentals, as Machine Gun Kelly referenced his own album and sold tickets to his show. The lyric, “the ones that gas you up only come along when the flames on,” is in reference to fake friends, which felt fitting for my own situation. While going through my breakup it felt as if some friends were only interested in having me over for the wild nights, rather than hear my pain-filled rants.
As the tempo shifts to an upbeat banger, I saw myself wipe away the tears and dive into the rash decisions that I made everyday. The chorus, “I’m selling tickets to my downfall”, acted as my announcement to the world that my break down was a free show.
The song “Kiss Kiss” was the anthem for all of my manic car rides. Just like the first lyric, “get me out of this house, get me out of my head”, I felt the need to run away from my problems, and the only way was to jump in the car and drive for hours. The overall theme of the song was to drink the problems away, and for someone who was in a relationship that judged drinking, it was finally my time to go for it.
The song “Drunk Face” was my reflection on everything that I have done because of my break-up. The lyric “I’m overcompensating for heartbreak” was a thought that I had for the months that followed my break-up. Was I using my breakup as an excuse for my manic behavior this semester? The chorus “I’m still young, wasting my youth, I’ll grow up next summer”, was the mantra that I told myself, as I promised that the next semester would be different.
Forget Me Too
Much like the title, “Forget Me Too” was about the struggle of forgetting an ex. The chorus, “you want me to forget you, okay forget me too”, mimicked the resentment that I held for my ex when he told me how he wanted me out of his life. The lyric “I’m keeping you waiting, but I won’t wait on you” reflected how I was attempting to convince myself that I wasn’t in fact waiting for my ex.
All I Know
The song “All I Know” represented my feeling of being lost. Suddenly everything I knew was gone, and I was left faking the answers to every aspect of my life. Similar to the lyric “all these girls I don’t want none of them, but I know I’ll end up with one of them,” I was second guessing the dating world and unsure if I truly wanted anyone else like I did my ex. Possibly my favorite lyric in the song, “cause i’m alone, don’t know who to call” is how I felt after losing the #1 person in my life. A common thought during a break-up is who do you call when you’re upset when the person who hurt you is the person you’d call?
If there ever was a song that I most screamed along to, it would be “Body Bag.” There is definitely something to say about a person who is screaming “I’m not mad, I just want us to be better” in their car at top volume. I would summarize this song as the angsty energy of resenting and missing your ex.
Who doesn’t listen to “Lonely” and automatically get the feels? An obvious fact is that break-ups are lonely, of course you have your friends but the spot that your ex had in your life isn’t an easy one to fill. There’s something about the chorus, “I would trade it all for you”, that encompasses the deep regret of a break-up. For a long time after my break-up, I was blindly missing my ex and would wonder what it would be like to take back the break-up and be together.
The song “Nothing Inside” is as moody as the title foreshadows it to be. Listening to “Nothing Inside” makes me wonder what else I could’ve done to make the relationship work. The lyrics, “I did this all for you, look what I turned into”, is the afterthought of a failed relationship and how even after all of the work, the relationship ended. As someone who rediscovered myself after my break-up, I constantly wonder what my ex would think of the person that I’ve become.
Play This When I’m Gone
Sometimes I feel like my ex is talking to me directly with this song, other times I see myself singing these lyrics to him. The song, “Play This When I’m Gone,” is the closure that everyone needs, no matter what the situation may be. The lyrics, “I had to let you know that everything about me was you”, closely ties to how my ex lost himself in the relationship. While it may break my heart to hear, much like as the song says, it’s okay to be hurt and cry. It’s the ending “I miss you” chants that can be sung, or shouted, that give me the most healing.
Popular opinion: the Machine Gun Kelly version of “Misery Business” is superior to the original. “Misery Business” has always been and will always be the embodiment of post break-up confidence. The lyric “I got him where I want him now” represents having the upper hand and finally being free from the drama of missing an ex.
While I may not have liked every song in Machine Gun Kelly’s new album, my Fall 2020 semester wouldn’t be the same without this replayable album. As time passes I realize that the meanings of these songs begin to fade as I heal from my heartbreak. I’d like to thank this album for being my #1 car ride buddy and therapy session all in one.