Okay so, you’re with this guy you really like. Or maybe in my case, you sort of like him. And you’re at a party, or he came over to play Scrabble and watch a movie. And things start getting a little… heated. You forget about his triple word score or the crappy beer you’re drinking and all you can focus on is what’s going to happen next. And then it happens.
You’re on his bed or your bed, maybe even the bathroom sink (if you’re into that sort of thing) and you want to ask, but you don’t want to come off as easy. But you muster up the courage anyway and out of your mouth come those five, beautiful words…
“Do you have a condom?”
Let’s rewind here.
Not back to the foreplay. Farther than that. Before the conversation at the party. Prior to looking yourself in the mirror before you leave. Before you decide what sort of panties you’re going to wear.
We’re going back to that Walmart trip you took on Monday with your roommate. When you were in the tampon aisle. Now, I want you to think back to this wonderful trip to Walmart. Did you happen to look next to the tampons and beside the yeast infection weaponry?
There’s a whole world next to Kotex. A world filled with safer sex. Yes, ladies. This is where condoms come from.
According to Matthew Gerson, women purchase 32 percent of condoms in the United States. 32 percent? Really?
And I know it’s awkward buying condoms. A lot of girls have the same things to say about it:
“If he wants to have sex, he can buy the condom.”
“It’s his responsibility.”
“It’s his penis, let him wrap it.”
“Why should I have to buy condoms?”
I have answers to all four of those questions:
“Don’t you want to have sex, too? If not, then you need to call the police.”
“I’m sorry, why is it his responsibility to protect you from his sperm?”
“It’s your vagina.”
“Why shouldn’t you have to buy condoms?”
Would you like to carry his spawn/Gonorrhea? Are you looking for an STI? Or do you not want to have that awkward moment with the cashier? Well, let me fill you in on a little secret- that moment with the cashier is much less awkward than that moment with your doctor when you find out you have Syphilis.
In the grand scheme of things, you’re the only person who can fully protect yourself, even in between the sheets. Plus, the last time I checked, it takes two to tango. And by tango I mean have sex. So, why isn’t it your responsibility? And if you buy the condom, you get to choose what kind you’re buying. So if you’re into Durex, you can buy Durex. If you’re into Twisted Pleasure Trojans, you can pick up a pack of those. If you like that heated nonsense, hell, go for it!
We live in a society that is encouraging women to be in control of their lives. We’re encouraged to go into the career world. We’re encouraged to take charge of our life and live
for ourselves. Let’s start with something we all do, or are going to do: our sex lives.
Fast forward. Past the crappy beer and the triple word score. Past the foreplay. We’re on the bathroom sink or his bed or your bed. Except this time, you reach into your night table drawer, and you pull out a condom.
“Is this okay?” you ask, nervously
“Uh, yeah!” He responds, excitedly.
And guess what- he probably doesn’t think you’re easy just because you have condoms. According to a co-worker of mine, girls who don’t buy condoms have “self-image issues.” If he thinks you’re easy, it could be for other reasons. But let’s save that for another blog.