Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
placeholder article
placeholder article

Point Blank Advice from our Psych Major: Self-Threes

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Oregon chapter.

You know what’s lame? Everyone and their mom recognizes these words, but if I asked you to define the differences between them, could you? Probably not. But if you can, congratulations! Here they are:

  • Self-Esteem
  • Self-Confidence
  • Self-Respect

Self-Esteem is pride and satisfaction with oneself. Someone with high self-esteem is confident without being obnoxious or conceited, open and clear when communicating their needs, and can handle criticism, setbacks, and others’ opinions of them without taking those things personally. Don’t have much self-esteem? You might want to get some – it’s good for you! Here’s how: Celebrate your strengths and achievements. Everyone makes mistakes — forgive yourself for yours. Everyone has weaknesses — forgive yourself for those, too. Change the way you talk to yourself. I’m sure you’ve heard the question, “If you talked to others the way that you talk to yourself, do you think they would still be your friends?” If the answer is no, consider being more kind to yourself. As the saying goes, we are often our own harshest critics. Don’t expect yourself to be able to juggle, scale the walls of Knight library, or write as well as Emily Dickinson – it’s unrealistic! Instead of constantly berating yourself for your faults, try praising yourself for the parts of you that are beautiful.

Self-Confidence is a positive perception of yourself that allows you to have faith in your abilities. Someone with high self-confidence is a go-getter; they pursue their desires because they believe in their own capacity for success. Find yourself lacking in the confidence department? Well, don’t just sit there on your butt feeling sorry for yourself. Go get some! Here’s how: Be ambitious. Set goals for yourself. Learn to communicate: ask for what you want, say what you mean, and hear advice when it is given. Be loving and kind. Be strong enough to cultivate healthy relationships and detach from relationships that don’t make you feel authentic. Be open to change. Be optimistic. And f it’s a choice between staying true to yourself or pleasing others, stay true to yourself.

Self-Respect is your acceptance of yourself, your character, and your conduct. People with high self-respect do not criticize themselves for who they are. Instead, these fine folks recognize that they are human beings who make mistakes and have faults, and accept themselves as such. People with high self-respect are not so concerned with what others think of them, because they are content with all that they are. If you are amazing at knitting tube socks, allow yourself to believe it on your own instead of getting overly excited whenever someone pats you on the back and says so. Sure, it’s always nice to hear, but a person with high self-respect does not need compliments in order to accept and approve of themselves. If you find yourself deficient in one or more of the areas listed above, start paying attention to the ways that you view yourself and talk to yourself! I personally find that there are few things more beautiful than a young woman who is clearly content with her whole self. It takes a lot of work to get there, but it is possible. Just remember that you don’t need everyone else to love you in order for you to love yourself. In fact, isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? That’s how I’ve heard it, at least! As the saying goes, “Love yourself. For if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you?” Truth is, you really can’t. Start with a little self-love, and see how far it gets you!

Rebecca is a senior at the School of Journalism and Communication at the University of Oregon. She is currently studying photography and magazine journalism. Hailing from the mountain town of Bend, Oregon, Rebecca values being outdoors, staying active, and the beauty in simple things. She loves seeing what other people are exploring in their fashion and finding new trends. Rebecca is a lover of all things creative, spontaneous, stylish, and interesting.