Parents should never have to say goodbye to their child, sisters should never have to say goodbye to their sister, and a friend should never have to say goodbye to their friend. But on the warm Sunday evening of May 12th, family, friends, sorority sisters, teammates, faculty, and even strangers came to say goodbye to one of University of Oregon’s most lively and enchanting students, Lillian Pagenstecher.
“You made me appreciate life more because you had the best, most positive attitude and you were always up for anything. What great adventures we had…what great food creations we made…what great memories we cherished together. You are truly loved by everyone.”
“Never before have I met someone who has had such a positive influence on everyone’s lives. Lill, you literally made everyone’s life so much better. You made sure to make every situation as good as possible and put everyone’s needs before your own. No matter what was going on, You made sure to live your life to the fullest.”
“Every second is precious, and I will strive to spread as much positivity and happiness you have given all of us as best I can. I wish that more people could have experienced your life, but you will live through all of us each day. I hope that there are unlimited snacks, games, friends, sunshine, and peace wherever you are.”
“I wish you could have seen what you did last night, because it was truly beautiful to see how much unity there was in honoring your memory. You never took anyone in your life for granted, and you have taught all of us to do the same. Your legacy will never be forgotten, and you will always be remembered exactly as I know you wanted to be; as someone who brought us together and made every one of our friendships stronger, all because of you.”
These were only a few of the hundreds of Facebook outbursts that followed the news of Lill’s passing after her battle with bacterial meningitis. It’s easy to see that Lill had a tremendous effect on everyone that she was in contact with, whether it be her family, her countless friends, her sorority sisters in Chi Omega, her intramural soccer team, her classmates, her co-workers at her job at the Moss Street Children’s Center, or even complete strangers. Within moments of the news of her passing, the entire community showed their support for a one-of-a-kind girl that had a spark that was felt by everyone.
Notes were sent, food was brought, and flowers lined almost every room in the Chi Omega house in condolence for their lost sister. Many chapters lit candles and placed them out in front of their houses in Lill’s honor. On Sunday evening, following a member ceremony, the sisters of Chi Omega as well as some of Lill’s close friends and family wrote prayers and thoughts to Lill on colorful balloons and let them go in the warm night sky. Shortly after, a candlelight vigil was held at the EMU lawn to say a final goodbye.
With more than a thousand people in attendance, the vigil proved to be a beautiful memorial to celebrate the amazing life that Lill lead. A slideshow played showing photographs of Lill at some of her happiest moments with friends, paired with very fitting fast-paced uplifting music that made people want to dance as well as cry. Speakers, including Lill’s parents, her good friends Jayne Thomas, Bruce Chaddock, and Casey Winkler; University of Oregon’s interim president Robert Berdahl; and Chi Omega’s president Miranda Matthews, came up and offered stories, support, and laughter as the crowd hung on every word.
As Thomas shared some of the pain and some of the humor that she had experienced with Lill in the hospital, the crowd cried and laughed as they remembered their friend. “We laughed all the way through it and even when she was crying, we laughed all the way through it,” Thomas said. Gary Pagenstecher,
Lill’s father, and Toni Pagnestecher, Lill’s mother, also gave a few words acknowledging the support that Lill’s “extended family” had given over the past few days.
Following the speakers’ warm words, the entire crowd lit candles and let a glowing paper lantern into the sky. As the crowd watched the glowing paper lantern lift up into the sky and then unexpectedly fall towards one of the larger trees on campus, the crowd couldn’t help but laugh. It was as if Lill was reminding us that life is unpredictable, to enjoy every minute of it, and sometimes when you feel like crying, laughing is a better antidote. Chi Omega came together and sang one of their ceremonial songs, “Shades,” and everyone was prompted to blow out their candles.
Following the beautiful ceremony, someone announced that they had brought dozens of Taco Bell Crunch Wrap Supremes for anyone who wanted one, in honor of one of Lill’s many favorite foods.
The outpouring of support didn’t stop at Lill’s vigil. Beta Theta Pi announced that all of the proceeds from the tickets for their annual Beach Bash party would go to Lill’s Family. Chi Omega announced that 50% of all the proceeds raised from their annual philanthropy, Chi Olympics, will go to the Moss Street Children’s Center, where Lill worked. Probably the most exciting spout of support came from Taylor’s – one of the most popular bars on campus where Lill spent many of her Wednesday evenings at Dollar Beers – which decided to donate all of their earnings for the night to Lill’s family. Following this news, Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity announced that they would match whatever people gave that Wednesday evening.
Lillian Pagenstecher was an amazing individual and a once-in-a-life-time friend (how many people can say they’ve had a Dollar Beers night dedicated to them!?) by what she accomplished in her short years of life. She continues to bring people together even after her death. She lives as a daily reminder to smile, laugh, dance, be bold, and live every day as best as you possibly can.
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Lauren Messman is a sophomore journalism major and business minor at the University of Oregon. She is originally from sunny Scottsdale, Arizona and in her free time likes to play guitar, practice photography, exercise, and hang out with friends. She is currently the head of the philanthropy cabinet in the Chi Omega sorority chapter on campus and enjoys planning events to raise money for their charity, the Make A Wish Foundation. Music is a major passion and inspiration of hers and she enjoys going to concerts and music festivals all over the country, including Coachella, Sasquatch, and Outside Lands. After college, Lauren hopes to write for a magazine, newspaper, or contribute to a multimedia publication. Her dream job would be to write for a music publication, such as Spin or RollingStone. Follow Lauren on twitter @MissLoMess.