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Sex + Relationships

9 Relationship Green Flags You Should Be Looking For

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

We tend to hear a lot about relationship red flags and deal-breakers so every once in a while it can be helpful to consider relationships from a different perspective. Whether you’ve just started talking to someone or you’re evaluating the relationship you’ve been in for the last four years, these are signs your relationship is headed in the right direction! 

1. You’re able to talk for ages and it feels natural

Naturally flowing conversations are a great sign in a relationship. Not only do they indicate both people are at ease with each other, but they also suggest compatible personalities. Being comfortable spending time in silence without it feeling awkward says a lot too, though this may take longer to develop. At the end of the day, you probably want a partner you can have meaningful conversations with, so even though this may feel simple, it shouldn’t be overlooked. 

2. They are proud of your successes and you’re proud of theirs

This is a great indicator of romantic partners’ levels of security and self-confidence. When your partner isn’t supportive of your pursuits or responds negatively to your accomplishments, it usually says more about them and their own insecurities than it does about you. On the other hand, positive responses show your partner understands your successes are things to celebrate, not things that need to be seen as a threat to their sense of self-worth. 

3. They tell you the truth rather than exclusively what you want to hear

This can be a tough one, sometimes the truth hurts. However, open and honest communication is a vital part of every relationship. Having someone tell you only what you want to hear may feel good in the short-run, but isn’t sustainable in a long-term relationship. Of course, some ways to deliver hard news are much easier to take than others, so the key is for this to be done in a supportive, compassionate way to soften the potential sting. 

4. You feel safe around them

Certain people just make you feel safe and you should trust your instincts. Your partner should make an effort to help you feel safe and reassured, which shows they respect you as a person and suggests they will respect your wants in the relationship. Listen to your gut feelings in this area because these may be more accurate than your thoughts, which are more subject to change based on how you think you should feel. 

5. They make you feel special 

Rihanna’s song Only Girl (In The World) might be over 10 years old, but the message it conveys is still just as relevant as when it first came out. Your partner should make you feel worthy, valued, and special, meaning you leave interactions with them feeling better than you did coming in. This can look extremely different from couple to couple, whether this is expressed through thoughtful dates, genuine compliments, or quality time together free of distractions. The important thing is that your partner makes an effort for you to feel appreciated. 

6. They make time for you 

If someone wants to make time for you, they’ll find a way, no matter how busy they are. In today’s world, communicating with your partner is so much easier than ever before so there’s almost no excuse for going off the grid for days on end. It feels good to get a few texts keeping you updated or checking in on days you know your partner is busy and doesn’t have the chance to talk in person. This shows they’re willing to prioritize you and your relationship.

7. You have a sense of confidence this is the person you’re meant to be with 

This doesn’t mean you’re never allowed to have doubts, but the doubts you occasionally have should be more than made up for by the reasons you enjoy being with this person (if this isn’t the case, you could be missing out on a more fulfilling relationship with someone else). Overall, you don’t spend much time questioning whether the relationship is a good fit because you already know it is. 

8. You can be completely authentic around them

This is a huge factor for me personally. Being around someone who allows you to be your complete, authentic self where you don’t need to worry about pretense feels so good. You shouldn’t have to guard your behavior or feel judged when your share your opinions, interests, or let your true personality shine through. As an added bonus, when you’ve been fully authentic and it’s received well, you know this person likes you for you, rather than the more limited version of yourself you’ve shown them.

9. They make you feel like the best version of yourself

I purposefully saved the best (and most important!) green flag for last. At the end of the day, if the person you’re with doesn’t bring out the best in you, are you sure this is someone you should keep dating and consider spending the rest of your life with? Life is full of too many things that can get you down to deal with an unsupportive romantic partner. On the other hand, the right person can inspire you to grow into the kind of person you hope to be. When both partners feel they’re at their best around each other, the relationship will naturally be filled with positive and encouraging interactions. 

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