The Future is Far

Tis the Season when everyone starts asking about the future. What are you going to do this summer? What do you want to do with your life? Where do you want to be? 

It’s the time when you visit family and they ask the same questions over and over again. And over and over again I get a little jolt of fear, fear for the future. 

It’s the time when my friends are starting to get engaged something that I certainly don’t feel old enough to have happening. Its the season 

It’s the time when I am freaking out at the close of the semester.

Yesterday,  I drove around campus and realized that in just under two years I would be leaving and that when I come back years from now it may look so very different. 

Growing up I was always so excited for the future. I couldn’t wait to graduate high school and go to college. But now that college is no longer my future, I can’t find it in me to be very excited. 

Then I called my dad today, mainly to warn him about final grades coming out soon and my lack of motivation at the end of the semester. But today he reminded me that my great-grandmother turns 100 in two days, and somehow I found that comforting. 

Life is unpredictable and I get nervous about the fact that there is no knowing when the end is the end, but at the same time I have a lot of time left. Maybe not countable in days, months and years, but I have time. Time to do what I want and accomplish what I want. There have been a lot of posts floating around that simply remind me that time is individual. It isn’t something that depends on the person next to you. I try and keep that in mind as the end of another semester comes to a close and I am one more semester closer to graduation. 

Sure it will come, but there is always more.