You’re sitting there wearing your best Jenna Marbles face. He’s staring in silence waiting for your response to the bomb he just dropped, “I love you.”
There’s only one word to describe this situation, awkward. Hopefully, these tips will help you avoid this awkwardness. They’ll help you realize how and when to say, “I love you” and what to do if one of you says it’s too soon.
Finding the right time to say, “I love you” doesn’t include plugging numbers into a formula. It’s specific to your relationship. But, there are some general guidelines.
1. If you’ve been dating less than a month, keep it to yourself. You will freak him out. The best thing to do is think how you would react if you were in his situation. For example, one of my ex boyfriends told me he loved me after a week of dating. As you might expect, our relationship didn’t last too long after that. On the other hand, if you’ve been in a relationship for over a year, it’s time to spit it out. And if you don’t feel it by then, start rethinking your relationship. If you fall between these two time slots, say it when you mean it.
2. So, once you feel it, what’s the right way to say it? Again, it’s specific to the couple. But I believe simple is the way to go. Try to avoid making it public. This moment should be something special, shared between the two of you. Also, resist the urge to pull cheesy stunts. One guy I dated spelled it out in rose petals. It was thoughtful, but it definitely freaked me out. I was bombarded. You’re taking a huge step in your relationship, not asking them to prom. You’ll get a much more honest and natural response if you just tell him when you two are sitting on the couch together.
3. What do you do if he says it too soon? If you want to maintain the relationship, the best thing to do is just to talk about it. You’re both mature adults and there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to have a conversation about it. If talking about these important issues makes things awkward, then maybe he’s not the one.
4. Are you the one who has said it too soon? If you have a Mean Girls moment and word vomit just comes out of your mouth, don’t take it back. You said it because you meant it, and there’s no reason to be ashamed of that. If he’s not ready to say it back, just make it clear that you mean it. Don’t try to stick your foot in your mouth. Be confident. As difficult as it sounds, I promise it will save you two from a ton of awkwardness.