Ending something that never even started is actually harder than it seems. Many girls are secretly the “other girl.” Sometimes they know it and sometimes they have no idea. In my case I had an idea but I chose to ignore it. I did not want it to be true because I thought this guy was actually a great guy.
It started as a summer fling and things moved from there. He would use lines like “baby I can’t wait to see you” or “baby I miss you” when we would go a few days without seeing each other , or the line that stuck with me the most “I promise I am not like all those other guys, and I am going to prove it to you.” For awhile he did and I believed it. Things with us went to the next level and it seemed great, but then the rumors started. The first girl I heard about I confronted him about, and same with the second one. Each time he had an excuse for why these rumors were started. It was either I miss understood what was being said or the girl was just trying to make his life difficult.
After that I started looking around and trying to figure out the truth. I added him on facebook one day and he would not accept my friend request but he accepted my roommates, I do not think that he realized it was her, so we were able to look. His whole page was covered in comments from a girl that was claiming to be his girlfriend. That night I confronted him about it and he told me that they broke up and she was crazy and obsessive. The proof was right in front of me but because he denied it I believed it. After that we stopped hanging out as much and only heard from each other at night. We only hung out when it was convenient for him. This continued for over a year. This whole time I still believed that I was the only girl, even though the rumors continued and more and more girls started coming out saying they were with this guy.
Just recently I finally found out the truth. After some creeping and detective work I found out that the crazy girlfriend that he “didn’t have” was now moving here in a month and moving in with him. They have actually been dating seriously for over three years now. Once I figured this out I confronted him and told him everything I knew. Little to say I have not heard back from him since I confronted him with this new information. He had been caught and now he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t care enough anymore to defend himself or even apologize.
Many people look down on the “other girl” and think it is just some promiscuous girl trying to ruin relationships. In reality though many times the girl is blinded by something special in this guy, we don’t want to believe that he is using us and lying to us the whole time. We can’t even fathom the fact that he has a girlfriend and that we are in fact the other girl. Every girl wants to feel wanted, and once we have feelings for a guy we want to believe that he will not hurt us. I have always been told to follow my gut feeling and not my heart, being the other girl has shown me that. If the proof is there then take it and run fast. No one wants to be the other girl because it just shows that you were not good enough in his eyes to be the only girl.
Once you chose to realize that you are the other girl there is nothing you can do but be done. The guy will never choose you over his girlfriend because if he was going to it would have already happened. It may be hard at first but in the long run you will be better for it. And honestly, if he is going to cheat on his girlfriend with you, chances are he is going to cheat on you with someone else. Every girl deserves to be treated like princess, and being the other girl is not that. Realize how important you are and what you deserve.