How I Grew on My Own While Being Engaged

“Oh, are you seriously engaged? Are you pregnant?”

“Wait, how old are you?”

“Wow, ‘ring by Spring’, am I right?”

If there is a shocked or cliché statement about getting engaged young, I can almost guarantee you that I’ve heard it said about me, or its been said directly to my face. 

When you’re engaged at 20, people are going to assume a lot of things. But I’ve found that one of the biggest misconceptions about my early engagement is that I don’t know how to be independent or “my own self”.

I’m here to put those ideas to rest.

If anything, I’ve learned more about myself while in a relationship than I ever did alone.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge advocate for enjoying seasons of singleness, but I’ve been lucky enough to find a guy that encourages me to think outside the box and loves me through all of my self discovery. Being loved by someone while you’re learning to love yourself can be a beautiful thing.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you can learn how to grow as individual through every phase of life.

Here are a few tips I have for you, if you’re looking for that next step in self-realization:

1. Journal Often

It’s much easier for me to analyze my thoughts and feelings if I can see them on paper. Be active about recording your activities, the things that make you happy or sad, and your GOALS. Be active in your journey toward a set group of goals, both relationship wise and individually. You can look forward to reaching another level of intimacy with your significant other, while enjoying the time that it takes to get there.

2. Know Your Self Worth

Listen up, ladies. People will always let you down (some people more than others). But, as humans, we are designed to fail. This is something I had to learn the hard way. If you put all of your self worth in a person, they may end up hurting you much more than ever intended to. It’s incredibly important that you spend time analyzing your weak points or areas of your life that you’re not confident in and work on those. If you enter a serious relationship, be open about these areas of your life and encourage your partner to share the same, so you can learn how to build each other up.

3. Be Busy on Your Own

If you’re sitting around waiting for your person to get off work, or finish class, so that they can hang out with you, I think you’ll quickly get bored with life and eventually with them. Go out and enroll in classes. Get a job. Find a hobby. STAY PURSUING who you want to become. You aren’t your relationship. You are so much more! Fall in love with your journey.

The biggest point of all of this is to LOVE who you are and strive for more. No matter what season you’re in, remember to be yourself, be honest, and be confident in your own journey.