Almost all of us have been in that situation before. The one where you’re hanging out with the opposite sex, and you’re starting to think they might have feelings for you, or you with them. But you’re just friends, right? Is it possible to be just friends with the other gender? It’s an age-old question, and a hard one to answer.
For most of my college life, the majority of my friends have been guys. It hasn’t always been easy, though. I’ve gotten mixed signals from time to time, and there’s definitely been moments when I’ve felt some of my guy friends have tried to cross the friend zone barrier. And some of them even have. But what exactly is the line when you’re just wanting to be friends? And is it possible for both parties to not have romantic feelings whatsoever?
My answer to this question is yes, but it’s rare. I’ve had few friendships with the opposite sex in my life where I felt there were no feelings on either side.
But it’s not always that easy. Sure, you can be friends with a guy without having romantic feelings for them, but you have to set boundaries. These boundaries are so they know that you’re not interested. If they’re cool enough guys, they’ll still be fine with maintaining a friendship.
1. One way I separate my friendships from turning into romantic relationships is to be open and honest about a romantic relationship I could be pursuing. As much as most guys hate it, I do talk about other guys that I might be seeing. I try to keep it to a minimum, but occasionally it has to be brought up to make it clear where you stand in your friendship.
2. Ask them about their potential romantic relationships. Are they interested in any girls in their classes? Do they need any advice on how to ask the girl out? Asking them about a girl they may have a crush on is a good way to have your friendship stay a friendship (just make sure he understands you’re not asking him to know if that girl is you!).
3. There may come a time where they address the issue of their romantic feelings. Be kind, a man’s ego can break in a second. But be honest. Tell him that you enjoy being friends, and that if he needs some time away from your friendship that that’s fine, too. It could potentially ruin your friendship. But like I said before, if he’s an awesome guy and values your friendship, he’ll come back around.
Ultimately, friendships always have their rough patches. Guys and girls can be friends, you just have to approach them differently than you would with your girlfriends. The key is to making sure both people are on the same page.