As unfortunate as it sounds, many people experience some sort of cheating in their lifetime. According to Florent Raimy in his article “The Shocking Truth About Infidelity: A Deep Dive into Alarming Statistics,” 44 percent of people in relationships cheat on their partner. Because of this, trust issues are created, which can affect an individual in all of their future monogamous relationships. Some may argue that emotional cheating doesn’t actually count as cheating, however, emotional cheating usually involves a longer period of time, which makes it just as bad as physical cheating. Emotional cheating may involve someone in a relationship continuously texting or talking to another person in a flirtatious way and building an emotional relationship with them. Physical cheating can involve a one-night stand or even a consecutive routine of getting with someone else. I wanted to take a look at both sides of the story, so I decided to interview someone who has been cheated on, along with someone who has cheated. Both of these interviews are anonymous.
Interview with an individual is is a victim of cheating:
Interviewer: “Before finding out you were getting cheated on, did you have any prior suspicions that this may be occurring?”
Interviewee: “Yes, they would get more secretive with their phone and make less time for me.”
Interviewer: “How did you find out you were getting cheated on?”
Interviewee: “He accidentally sent me a Snapchat that was meant for another girl and then tried to lie about it even though it was obvious it wasn’t for me. The Snapchat said something about “you look so good tonight,” but he hadn’t even seen me that night. At first he tried lying about it, but then admitted it wasn’t meant for me.”
Interviewer: “Did you break up with them?”
Interviewee: “Yes.”
Interviewer: “How did you feel when you first found out?”
Interviewee: “I felt like there was a big hole and my stomach dropped to my feet and I was extremely shocked. I felt sad, angry and caught myself questioning why I wasn’t good enough.”
Interviewer: “Has it changed how you act and feel in new relationships after that one? If so, how?”
Interviewee: “Yes, it has changed how I act and feel because I feel like I have a hard time trusting and believing people even when they are telling the truth and I’m more cautious when I start to see red flags, I look into them deeper rather than ignoring them.”
Interview with an individual who has cheated on their partner:
Interviewer: “Before you cheated, did you think about cheating or was it a “spur of the moment?”
Interviewee: “Spur of the moment I guess. I didn’t intend or plan to do it, one thing just led to another.”
Interviewer: “What did you do that was considered cheating?”
Interviewee: “We had sex, it was while I was about six months into a relationship.”
Interviewer: “How did you feel while you were cheating? Did you push any guilt away in the moment or did it not hit you till after?”
Interviewee: “Well it happened after a night out, and again I had no idea it was going to happen. I just was walking a friend of mine home safely after a football game and she invited me inside and we talked for a while and then yeah, it just sort of happened. So it definitely didn’t hit me till after.”
Interviewer: “How did you feel after the cheating had been done?”
Interviewee: “Oh it was bad… like, I think right after I left I wanted to throw up! I felt so sick and it had nothing to do with how much I drank earlier.”
Interviewer: “Did you admit to your partner that you had cheated, did they find out another way or did they never find out?”
Interviewee: “It took me like a week but I told her. I just told her over FaceTime because I’m sure if it was in person she would’ve kicked my ass, literally!” (He said while laughing).
Interviewer: “Do you think that you will cheat again? Why or why not?”
Interviewee: “I don’t plan to, that’s for sure. But for real I hope not, cause we’re coming up on two years now so that would be a waste of everyone’s time. But again, you never know what happens, especially ‘cause it wasn’t like that on purpose the first time. For real though, I don’t even talk to the other girl anymore, for obvious reasons… but at the same time if my girl told me she did something I feel like I’d have to be understanding too, to an extent. Unless it’s malicious or on purpose then no, but I’m not tryna be a hypocrite.”
These two interviews show the different perspectives that are involved when cheating happens in a relationship. Depending on the person, they may experience different emotions and feelings during a cheating scenario. In the second interview, the person reveals that he and the girl he cheated on are still together. Many people wouldn’t stay with someone if they found out they had cheated. It leads me to wonder if the relationship now has more trust issues or arguments because of what happened to them a year and a half ago.
When conducting these interviews, I sat outside on campus and asked random students if they had been cheated on or had cheated before. I wanted to get authentic answers and an insight into how many people are involved in cheating. I would say about 75 percent of the people I asked said they had been involved in cheating. It seemed like more people were able to admit they had been cheated on, but fewer people wanted to admit they had cheated in the past. Everyone that I had talked to had their own opinion about cheating. I was able to discuss the topic of gender versus cheating with a few people as well. Overall, it seems as if people believe when women cheat, there’s a deeper reason for it. For example, they are not satisfied with how their partner treats them or they are emotionally detached from their relationship. They seemed to think when men cheat, it’s usually an in-the-moment type of thing. Hearing the different perspectives on cheating was extremely interesting and it goes to show why our generation as a whole has so many trust issues.
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