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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Sexy Does Not Mean, “Yes” or “Dumb”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at ODU chapter.

You see a girl, who is really gorgeous and she happens to be in the library. She’s studying for her intro to psychology finals and doesn’t even know if she is going to pass. You then sat next to her table and start reading your chemistry textbook, even though you might’ve been looking at her body the whole entire time. Not only that, it was on the fourth floor of the library; you weren’t supposed to be talking! You broke the silence when you said, 

“Mind if I use the plug next to yours? My charger won’t work.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” She said. 

She back on to studying, you started a conversation with her, AGAIN. Much to her dismay, she still had to listen to your boring conversation about chemistry, but she never said she was interested in you. You went on talked about how you’re a part of the military and it paying your tuition, bragged about you being a second year in medical school and basically listing every quality of why she should be attracted to you. Either way, she yawned in front of you. She gave you her number out of courtesy and kind of did expect for you to reply back. 

A few hours later, after she took her psychology finals, you texted her again to meet up for coffee. One of her best friends was “stalking” you in order to get to know who you are via social media. Her best friend said to her,

“I think you can do a lot better than him. He’s not that good-looking.”

After her best friend left to go elsewhere, you met up with her and talked with the gorgeous girl about chemistry again. She then asked,

“Why are you interested in me?”

You bluntly responded, “Well, for one thing, I’m attracted to you and I also needed to charge my laptop.”

“Have you dated anyone else since then?” She asked out curiosity.

“I haven’t dated someone in a while and I was pretty socially awkward in college. I majored in psychology and got 4.0 GPA and here I am in medical school.”  

You both went to the coffee shop just one block away from campus. As you were talking about yourself and your life, you kept repeatedly dumbing her down as if she’s the one that needs to get smart. Even though she was only 18 years old, she had a LOT more common sense than you. YOU were a 25-year-old man who had nothing, but an arrogant ego. Not only that, you didn’t listen to the dreams and ambitions she wanted to pursue and the reasons why she’s at college. All you paying attention to was how “sexy” she is. She told you that she’s not pursuing a relationship, and if she is, it’s casual because she wanted to get to know you as a person. Seeing your first impression and how you came off to her, she doesn’t want you.

The whole entire time, SHE was thinking, “When the hell am I going to study for my NEXT finals?!”

You then had to go. She was relieved, she then studied for Algebra finals and she passed with a B+.  

You kept repeatedly texting her over the summer by wanting “a woman who I can be intimate with and who I can start a great conversation with.” In addition to, “I’m looking for a casual relationship, nothing more, nothing less.”

She told you numerous times she wanted to be friends, that’s all. However, you and your damn ego wanted “to stay true to his intentions.” She told you once again to leave her alone when she said, “Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I’m going to have sex with someone I barely know. I’m also a woman, who values herself than men who want her.” 

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Why didn’t you leave her alone after that first encounter?

Yes, she may be “gorgeous” and “sexy”, but that didn’t mean she said, “yes,” to you. She was sexy because how the way she carried herself in front of you. Seeing how she can make any men beg on their knees for her, is actually irritating. You’re one of THOSE guys who throw themselves at her because you want to be the best she’s ever had. You’re way older than her, can you get a girl your own age? Let alone, have some common sense when it comes to dating a girl.

The next time you see her, approach her in a different manner. Don’t let your ego come out because she’s younger than you and if she’s not interested, she’s not interested.


Hi!  I'm Paula and I'm the Senior Columnist of HerCampus at Old Dominion University! I'm majoring in English with a Concentration in Journalism minoring in Health and Wellness. I aspire to be a food and culture, politics, or a global affairs reporter for big newspapers such as the NYTimes, Washington Post, or the Los Angeles Times. While I'm not writing fun articles for this chapter, I love cooking various Asian dishes and healthy foods, grocery shopping at Whole Foods or the Fresh Market, and studying and speaking Spanish. Fun Fact: I am a local model around Norfolk and Richmond! Follow me!