Most people say college is the best four years of your life; That this is the time when you are supposed to meet your best friends, even your bridesmaids! However, this goal may feel unachievable for many individuals struggling with social anxiety. As someone who started college during the pandemic, and is a commuter student who also has social anxiety, I have some tips for those who want that belief to become a reality.
1. Be patient.
There is nothing wrong with you if you are a few months into college and still have not found your people. It takes time to form really strong bonds and friendships, especially in new surroundings. Also, remember to be easy on yourself in this new process. It is so easy to be your own bully. It can be very discouraging to have a constant voice in your head telling you that you’re being awkward in social situations. Give yourself grace and just know that everything will be okay.
2. Get outside of your comfort zone.
While that is a piece of advice many of us hear all the time, I do believe it holds truth. The more you step outside of your comfort zone, the more you will see yourself growing and doing the things that you did not see yourself doing before. This does not mean you have to jump right into something that makes you uncomfortable. Pushing out of your comfort zone a little bit at a time can be extremely helpful. When I began college, I slowly started pushing out of my comfort zone and it has really helped me in so many ways.
3. Join student organizations!
If you are introverted, this may sound scary; especially at the start of the semesters at college, many student organizations have things like interest meetings that you can go to. I would go to multiple, this way you can see what you like and don’t like. One way to see when certain groups are holding interest meetings is to browse social media platforms and follow the groups that sound interesting to you. Student organizations will normally post if they are having a type of interest meeting. I have met some of my absolute best friends by joining some organizations around campus.
4. Don’t be afraid to talk to new people.
I totally understand how scary it can be to talk. I used to drop classes when I saw that there was a group project on the syllabus because I was so nervous to talk to people. Definitely don’t do that! It is normal for it to feel difficult to make friends. A simple compliment can blossom into an amazing friendship down the road. In fact, the more you talk to people the easier it will get in the future. When you repeatedly put yourself in situations to spark conversations with new people, it can be really helpful.
5. Don’t feel pressured to party.
Just because everyone is going out on the weekends does not mean you have to as well. Being an introvert, it can be very draining to feel like you are constantly going out and trying new situations. You deserve a break. If there is a day where you just want to relax and stay in, then give that to yourself. Real friends will understand and respect your decision to not go out. You only have to do as much as you are comfortable with.
6. Find balance.
When starting college, I found it very hard to balance my school life with societal expectations of all the things that come with being an adult. With school, it can be enough to drain your social battery. Finding a healthy balance and giving yourself rest when you need it can really help in social anxiety situations. One way to do this is to give yourself a reset day. You can do something that makes you feel good. This can be anything unique to you that you find relaxing such as going for a walk, reading a book, or talking with family and friends.
Keep in mind that college is scary. It is a new experience and these new situations bring a lot of anxiety, especially having to expand out of your comfort zone to find new people. Try to remember that everyone experiences anxiety to some extent and you are never alone in feeling this way!