Every close relationship, whether it’s friendly or romantic, embodies love languages. Each partner in a relationship has certain love languages they appreciate more than the others. Whichever one is needed should be understood and incorporated by the other partner to ensure the person feels loved wholly. Understanding your own and your partner’s love language is equally important. That way, you know what you both need in order to be satisfied. Some people may believe that relationships do not work because the two people involved have different love languages, however, this is not the case. It is more often than not due to the fact they don’t understand each other’s love language. Two people who have different love languages can work extremely well if the other person’s love language expectations are met and appreciated.
There are five main love languages:
Words of Affirmation
This love language centers around using words to express your love and appreciation to someone. This can be done verbally or even written out. Some people just need to be told that they are loved in order to feel secure in the relationship.
Idea: Write them a letter expressing why you love them and why you are thankful for them.
Avoid: Unkind words and non-constructive criticism.
Acts of Service
This love language is about making the person feel like you are there to help them whenever they need. Telling them and showing them that you enjoy helping them or doing things for them is the key to their heart. It shows the person that you love them since you want to do things that make their life easier.
Idea: Pack a lunch for them to bring to school or work.
Avoid: Saying you will do something for them and then not following through.
Receiving Gifts
This love language appreciates the thoughtfulness that goes behind tangible gifts. They understand and appreciate the effort that someone took in order to pick out a gift. They recognize that they have to go to the store, search for something and spend their hard-earned money. It is not the physical gift that makes them feel loved, but the action behind it.
Idea: Bring them their favorite flowers and coffee on a random morning.
Avoid: Forgetting special occasions throughout the year that one would usually receive a small gift on, such as anniversaries or Valentine’s Day.
Quality Time
This love language values and appreciates the importance of one-on-one, uninterrupted time with their partner. They appreciate the moments when they can just hang out together with no distractions and enjoy each other’s presence. They usually like to go places or do fun things with their partner, but also can be content with just laying in bed with them.
Idea: Suggest going on a walk and leaving your phones in the house.
Avoid: Being distracted or on your phone while they are trying to talk to you.
Physical Touch
This love language prefers non-verbal reassurance to feel loved and cared for. They enjoy physical touch with their partner and feel most appreciated when their partner wants to be close and touchy with them.
Idea: When in the car, put your hand on their arm or thigh and they will feel content that you are wanting to be close to them even when driving.
Avoid: Long periods of time with zero physical touch.
There are many different aspects to each love language, but when understood, relationships can work much more smoothly. Identifying why the person needs the type of love that they prefer will not only help them feel loved, but also create a healthier relationship. It could also be a possibility that you feel as if you don’t know or understand your own love language. If this is the case, you can take an online quiz to find out: https://www.buzzfeed.com/macedog14/love-language-quiz