What if we didn’t have to decide on the direction of our lives at 21? Seems like a crazy concept.
We’ve spent the last few decades in an education system that is like a nice little bubble, and as soon as you get that degree, or take that final exam, it’s popped. Suddenly, there’s this huge rush to take the next step, to jump on the bandwagon of adulthood and figure out the trajectory of our lives. Everyone is so obsessed with the future, whether that’s grad schemes, masters, internships or the corporate world- and that’s great if that is genuinely what you want. But the problem creeps in when the pressure and the speed of society start to influence our choices. When you feel like it’s ‘failing’ if you haven’t; secured a job straight off the back of uni, haven’t got a solid plan for the career path you want to take, or more than 50 connections on LinkedIn.
As young people, we’re made to feel like this is normal. It’s normal to feel immense pressure from our parents, peers and tutors to have it all figured out. To be in a constant cycle of applications, rejections, interviews and open days. Because if you’re not doing this, what’s even the point? It’s as if our entire academic career has led up to this point. Now the ball’s in our court whether we shoot for the stars, or fall flat on our faces.
But why the rush? More and more people are changing career paths multiple times in their lives- we don’t need to sign our lives away the second we throw that grad cap in the air. Our parents might have had the same job since they left school at 18, but that doesn’t mean we should be looking to mirror this. People change, and people grow, and when you’re young (dumb and broke), it’s easy to get swept up in restlessness of tomorrow; however, we need to normalise avoiding the rush. It’s okay to take a breather, to step back and figure out where our passions lie and what we want to do with that- there’s no time frame on the rest of your life.
The problem is, we live in a society – especially within the education system – that values doing over being. Busy culture has taken over our lives, the need to hustle 24/7 has consumed us. People wear busy like a badge of honour. We’re led to believe that if you’re not busy looking to the next thing, working on your next project or securing that next big achievement, then we’ve fallen short. That we’ve somehow failed because of the expectation we should be doing the absolute most, outsourcing ourselves to the max and be occupied by our future at all times. Being busy is an idol we worship, so much so that we’ve become slaves to it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have goals- in fact, we should have them, they help motivate us and drive us when we are faced with decisions and challenges. But when these become the only thing that matters, consuming our every waking thought, then we need to re-assess whether this is healthy. We need to realise that the world won’t implode if you don’t get your dream job straight after graduating, and maybe, you weren’t ready for it anyway.
Take a step back, reflect and breathe. Don’t give in to a culture that values your productivity over your wellbeing. Learn to say no when you’re overwhelmed and take some time out for some good old self-care. If we can learn to see life more as a journey, a journey that is different for everyone with many different routes, then maybe we can eliminate the hurry and simply be grateful for where we’re at now.