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Why the coquette aesthetic is both problematic and liberating

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Nottingham chapter.

What is coquette? ‘Coquette’, a noun taken from the French language, can be defined as a ‘flirtatious woman’ and has become a modern aesthetic amongst many women. It embodies the epitome of femininity; it is dainty, fragile, and clearly rejects the masculine. The aesthetic became notably popular in the 2010s, and was embraced by many young women all over social media.  It is a hyper-feminine lifestyle, a form of expression, a music genre (Lana Del Rey is known as the top ‘coquette’ artist), and a fashion style.

Clothing associated with coquette is typically frilly, with babydoll tops, patterned with flowers or hearts, and dresses or skirts being idealised. For shoes, coquette followers would typically reject trainers in favour of black boots or Mary Jane shoes. Accessories include golden necklaces, ribbons for your hair, and heart-shape sunglasses. 

Whilst this is visually beautiful, there is a toxicity that has seeped into the aesthetic. One certain issue is that only certain body images are tied to the coquette: this can worsen one’s self-confidence, causing a hatred of one’s body rather than love and delight. If you search online, a common look for coquette followers is slim and white. It is deeply lacking in diversity. Cherwell, an Oxford student-run newspaper, discusses this in their article The Dark Side of Coquette. Iustina Roman writes,

Hyper-feminine fashion has been called out on social media extensively for failing to include people of colour and a range of body types—to the point where some believe they encourage disordered eating and unrealistic standards.

This absence of certain appearances makes the aesthetic judgemental and exclusive. How can it be feminine if it doesn’t embrace all types of women?  Scrolling on Pinterest, searching for a coquette girl who looks just like you – for some women and girls, this is nearly impossible. The aesthetic can be dangerous for a young person’s mental health. Followers watch movies such as Lolita – a disturbing film based on the book by Vladimir Nabokov. The movie centres on an adult man grooming a young girl; youthful fans desire the same red-heart sunglasses, the same ribbons and plaits that the victim wears – but idolising the outfit of a sexualised child is horrifying. Unfortunately, Lolita has irrevocably intertwined with coquette, as  many post pictures wearing the infamous sunglasses and tagging their image with #coquette. 

Can the aesthetic ever escape these awful associations? The answer is both yes and no: many women have adapted the aesthetic to fit their true selves, with different body types looking equally as stunning in feminine frill dresses.  Gradually, the aesthetic is becoming more inclusive as its followers increase. Many individuals promote that one simply has to reclaim their femininity – they will thus gain confidence, self-love, and a sense of empowerment. However, the pressures of a hyper-feminine aesthetic will always create problems. Can every woman or girl be feminine enough to be a part of the aesthetic? Or will it always be dominated by a certain group of people?

Bethan Beddow

Nottingham '24

Hi, I'm Bethan and I study English with Creative Writing BA! I adore blog writing, specifically on matters that surround women and femininity, as well as other forms of creative writing such as creating poetry. As a typical English student, my room is brimming with hundreds of books – fantasy and romance are my top genres – and so in my free time I'm usually engrossed in one or two novels.