What Your Post-Night Out Food Choice Says About You

You’ve pre-drinked hard and partied harder. Your feet are starting to hurt and the thought of your alarm going off in 5 hours is not filling you with joy. All you want is for someone to say those three magic words: ‘let’s get food.’ But what is your go to stodgy goodness, and what does it say about you?


Let’s be honest, the sole motivation for your night out was the promise of the golden arches at the end. It all started with a bottle of wine, and at least 30 minutes of searching for the right selfie lighting, and now you’re hungry from hours of dancing. When it comes to chicken nuggets, size matters: 6 for princesses, 9 for queens and 20 for absolute legends/inspirations in life.

McDonalds’ meal

With your post night out food, you love to get a lot for your money. Naturally, you’ve ordered the burger, the chips and a drink, not forgetting that free mayo chicken that your tummy loves just as much as your wallet. Got to save for that VK fund!


‘Fake it ‘til you make it’ is your motto; false lashes, tan, nails and an unbranded burger in hand completes this classiest of looks. All night you told your friends you were going to be ‘good’. You spent too much money clothes shopping to even be on the night out, never mind stuffing your face afterwards. But, whilst you wait in the cold for the taxi, the smell (and the numerous fit guys) draws you into the burger van - there’s no escaping now.

Chicken Burger

Are you a 14-year-old boy, dressed head to toe in Adidas, wishing Nandos was open 24/7? Or a rebel, dicing with life and risking food poisoning with every bite? Maybe a health-conscious princess convincing yourself that because its chicken, the deep-fried bit doesn’t count? Potentially a cheating vegetarian? All I know is you’ve made a solid decision at the end of a solid night of seshing.


Tonight wasn’t meant to go this way, it never is. You’ve got a seminar at 9, a cold that you’ve been harbouring for a good 3 weeks, and more deadlines than jaeger bombs to get stuck into. But here you are, yet again, in the kebab shop, with your best friend and a few random boys who adopted you on the walk between the club and the dirtiest takeaway you could find. You promise yourself it won’t happen again, but it will, most probably tomorrow.


You spent your night on the cheesy floor, a VK in each hand, surrounded by all your besties. It was only when the music stopped that you all reluctantly stepped into the rain and headed for the heavenly oasis of the takeaway. For you and the gals this is the highlight of the night. You gather around your pizzas and let the de-brief begin: Who did you bump into? Who did you pull? Who did the most embarrassing thing?


You don’t know how you got here. You’re not entirely sure how you’re getting home. All you know is that you want food and you want it now. The saltier and greasier the better, you smother them in ketchup and end the night full of one of life’s simplest pleasures. And all for just £2.50.

Cheesy Chips

A slightly more together breed than the plain chips crowd, you at least remember arriving at the club. Oh, and pulling that boy in your seminar group, a painful regret that can only be resolved by one thing - cheese! The more, the better, and if its melted that man behind the till might be getting the same treatment as your seminar pull.

Toast or Cereal

You’re a simple creature. You know you’re not as hungry as the alcohol is telling you and your pyjamas are calling your name. After a few too many mornings filled with calorie regrets, buttery toast or a big bowl of coco pops is definitely the way forward.


Regardless of your excuse, this is unacceptable practice. Was there any point in going on a night out? You’re the fun sponge of the friendship group, the guilty conscience in everyone’s ear. So please, sort it out!

Edited by Jess Shelton