Sex seems to be the topic of discussion everywhere. From TV shows, to magazines, to conversation with your friends, sex seems to come up pretty often. This can make the idea of having sex for the first time both exciting and slightly confusing, as we are often bombarded with myths that make it a little tricky to decide what’s true or not. These feelings are normal if you’re thinking about losing your v-card, but remember that there is no wrong or right time to become sexually active.
If you are contemplating losing your virginity, then you may have a lot of questions and finding the answers isn’t always easy. One of the most common myths about first time sex is that you can’t get pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Well, you most certainly can, and my advice is to consider getting contraception in advance. There are several different methods of contraception, and an informative chat with your GP or sexual health nurse should help you decide which is best for you and your partner. One option is to sign up to the C-Card, it’s quick and easy and it means you can pick up free condoms in any place where you see the C-Card sign, including areas on campus such as the Boots Pharmacy next to Cripps Hall.
Another one of the most common myths is that first time sex will hurt. The bad news is, it may hurt, depending on how lubricated you are, how nervous you feel, and whether or not your partner is going too fast and/or applying too much pressure. The good news is, this pain doesn’t occur for everybody and your first time could be a comfortable and fun experience. Bear in mind that sex is not supposed to be painful, and if you are feeling pain, you should probably stop. Also, don’t be alarmed if you experience some bleeding the first time- you’re not dying, you’re absolutely fine, and it should only last for a short period of time.
Sex is certainly glamorised by TV shows and magazines, which could give you unrealistic expectations for your first time. You may feel a little awkward and self- conscious about the way your body looks or feels, or even the very idea of sex. This isn’t uncommon and you should be able to discuss this with your sexual partner. It’s important to feel comfortable, and most importantly, ready.
The aftermath may leave you feeling emotional, or even a bit confused and worried. You might even find that your affectionate feelings towards your partner are enhanced, and that sex had strengthened your bond. Some people choose to cuddle for while afterwards, while others need a little personal space. Talking to your partner about it helps a lot, and communicating your feelings will assist in getting to understand to each other, making sex a more pleasurable experience.
Everyone’s experience is unique, so it’s important not to compare your first time to anyone else’s. Ensure that you’re ready, well-informed, and that you trust and feel comfortable with your partner. Remember, sex is a natural form of human expression, and it’s best enjoyed when you’re absolutely ready.
Stay safe and sexy.
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Edited by Georgina Varley