Hello 20! No longer a teen, so the realisation that you’re an adult hits a little harder… It’s common that most of us start to sweat and panic at 18 when we have to decide whether we want to go into the world of work or choose to stay in education. It’s even more common that when we hit the age of 20 after making those decisions, that we should have it all figured out, with a step by step 10-year plan to success in place.
Well, that’s ridiculous and is most certainly not the case. It has become a harmful belief to so many of today’s young adults that you need to have it all figured out, the immense pressure to be a successful millionaire at age 25 is encroaching on all of our lives, and it’s terrifying. We believe that if we haven’t made it by 20-25 then we’ve failed and there is absolutely no hope left in the world for us.
The media is partly to blame with the growing influencer trend taking over our generation. We constantly see and engross ourselves in the lives of people such as Molly Mae, Mary Bedford and Kylie Jenner who have their own house at 21, wears thousands of pounds worth of jewellery, clothes and we measure our own success against there’s. This is wrong and harmful to say the least. We write our own stories when we want. We also have the choice to define what success is.
My idea of success may be completely different to your idea, that’s perfectly fine. Plenty of well-known stars that we all know didn’t make it until well after 30, that doesn’t make them any less successful than the next person. Harry Potter star Alan Rickman didn’t make it as a famous actor until 42, before that he was a graphic designer. The old time saying that age is just number fits perfectly when worrying about this problem, because nobody has a timer of when you have to be successful, you can change careers, go back to school, or prioritise being a parent, travelling alone, with friends, or with family. All of these paths are as successful as each other at any points in your life.
So, when you hit 20 and it feels like the world might end because you don’t know what you’re doing its perfectly fine! Here are a few things that I do to help myself from the overwhelming feeling of panic:
- Just take a moment to breathe and be present
- Think about all you have achieved so far and thought you never would achieve
- Finally, think and write down 3 things you would like to achieve today, or this week just small tasks that once you’ve completed you can reward yourself with a treat, like your favourite chocolate, or a takeout, whatever you like.
Remember you define your own success and when you want it to happen. Its ok to be 20 and not have it figured out, I don’t! If someone else you know does then that’s ok too, be happy for them but remember you’re on your own path.