I was fortunate enough to spend my last academic year studying at the Universidad de Granada in Granada, Spain, studying economics in Spanish … I know, I don’t know how I did it either… it turns out that my knowledge of colours and types of food was funnily enough not sufficient to understand Spanish economic policy and EU rules and regulations. But one of the biggest challenges of my year abroad has been returning back to Nottingham ‘eager’ to begin my fourth and final year, but the reality has been quite different…
Having adapted to the Spanish educational system, and now somewhat back to the English system, the “November blues” have well and truly hit – aka deadline season, a to-do list longer than my arm, all alongside a lovely mix of seasonal depression. I think it’s fair to say I have become well acquainted with my desk and Hallward Library.
Gone were the days I spent weekends gallivanting and travelling around Spain, to now weekends sitting in Hallward Library, crying over finding my data for my dissertation – what do you mean I can’t book a spontaneous trip to Madrid this weekend?
Returning to Nottingham after a year abroad was never something that I envisioned would consume me with so much anxiety, dread, and feelings of unsettledness. I felt as if I was returning to a place I had outgrown and no longer belonged. The previous familiars are now distorted, new characters in my life, and a missing space for those friends who graduated last year. Packing up and leaving home this time around was filled with confused apprehension.
The person I became by the end of my time in Spain is someone I feel I have now partially lost. The more free-spirited and spontaneous person who treated herself with a lot more kindness every day is slowly slipping away and becoming a victim to the UK education system.
In Spain, it was so easy to find the perfect balance of travelling, spending time alone, making new friends from so many different cultures and backgrounds, doing things you love and having a thriving social life all while studying. And I know what you might be thinking, oh Amy but that’s just the life of an Erasmus student, this seemed to be the same for most students, they all seemed to have this perfect cultural balance of work and life, and it is something that I still envy to this day.
So, the reverse cultural shock let’s talk about it…. All down to the smallest nuances of my day-to-day routine, I’m finding settling back into home life confusing but also comforting with being back on home soil. For example, it’s become an almost knee-jerk reaction to say “ayy perdón” instead of “sorry”, or “gracias” instead of “thank you”. (I will always vividly remember landing back in the UK and someone bashing into me, and me aggressively saying “ayy perdón”, and having to follow on my characterisation that I was indeed Spanish, not just a confused post-year abroad student).
I’m sure you can imagine my confusion and disappointment to coming back to the cost-of-living crisis in the UK, where a Tesco meal deal used to be £3 and is now £5.50 (without a Clubcard). November is now cold; I haven’t experienced a British winter in two years, and as much as I hate it, I’m also loving it! Campus is so full of autumn colours, cosy winter nights, hot chocolate on a cold day, and finally being able to wear a scarf!
One rather niche aspect of moving back to Nottingham, or more generally speaking the UK, has been trying not to relate every aspect of my life back to Spain. Avoiding like the plague saying, “Oh on my year abroad, I …” or “In Spain….”, in every sentence, to avoid the clear irritation of those around me. It’s almost as if I am supposed to pretend this year hasn’t happened, and not just me, but all year abroad students are expected to slip back into normal university life and ignore all that happened over the last year.
For this reason, I am extremely grateful to live with one of my housemates, who spent her year abroad in Argentina, Peru, and Spain, and for my friend with whom I was in Granada, as we have all been navigating this return to Nottingham together.
The memories and friendships that I made whilst in Spain will stay with me forever and I will cherish them so close to my heart. And although moving to another country was the hardest thing I have ever done; I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.