From a weekly Crisis to a dip in the big Ocean- taking off your shirt and waving it above your head to the bellowing of the Baywatch theme tune compulsory- you’ve probably experienced some of the mighty highs and lows of Nottingham nightlife. Let’s address the hard hitting realities of student nightlife:
Expectation: Your team will stick together and come home together because you’re BFFLs, obvs.
Reality: After 5 minutes waiting for your friend to get served you find yourself in the toilet opening up your deepest feelings to new friends (random strangers). You’ll inevitably split up and end up making even more “friends” in the form of taxi sharing before never seeing them again/maybe bumping into them in Lenton Sainsbury’s.
Expectation: You will drink a lot and feel euphoric.
Reality: You will drink a lot and feel good, great, nauseous, then sleepy.
Expectation: Creeps are kept at bay on student nights, thankfully it’s not a locals night.
Reality: It is deemed acceptable to touch, grope or slap a girl in inappropriate places in certain guys’ minds. Not on.
Expectation: You will pull and find the love of your life.
Reality: You’re surrounded by a load of thirsty dudes and the degrading beer goggles will swallow you whole, much to your morning regret.
Expectation: You’ll have lots of room to bust out the moves you learnt at that salsa taster session.
Reality: The number of sweaty people in the club desperately exceeds the capacity, resulting in sardine dancing, a kind of step tap routine with your hands firmly on your sides to avoid awkward encounters.
Expectation: Your sleek looks will sustain throughout the night.
Reality: Absolutely no chance considering the sweat-factory club conditions.
Expectation: You’ll have a dignified, well deserved piece of toast when you get in to absorb the night’s damage.
Reality: You’ll be enticed by the dodgy burger van outside Crisis and end up sat on the kerb, scoffing your face with ketchup dribbling down your chin, wondering how your dignity, good looks and high expectations have diminished.
Edited by Naomi Upton
Image sources:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/338895940683238070/
http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/drunk-sober-you-favor/1112976/
http://www.headoverfeels.com/2015/10/13/think-like-a-champion-scandal-gi…
http://www.betches.com/how-to-recover-from-regrettable-drunk-decisions
http://collegecandy.com/2014/12/28/10-reasons-new-years-eve-is-the-worst/
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http://giphy.com/gifs/eating-hungry-food-OrHFWUm6CNnFu
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