“Never attempt to win by force what can be won by deception.” ― Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince
It is perfectly normal to feel instant, moral rage against this statement, but good reasons can spring to the defence of lies and deception.
First, let’s define lying. Lying is affirming what we know is false, denying what we know is true, or holding our tongue when we should speak the truth. Lying is deliberate, and usually involves externalising it; either through a verbal statement, “It was great to meet you,” or a written statement; “I have read the terms and conditions,” or through behaviour, like pretending to be sick to stay off school.
All children lie from 4 years old. And it is a great achievement in their development. It means they can decern the mental states of others and recognise the difference from their own. This stage is also essential to developing empathy and interacting socially. It demands a great deal of self-awareness. You need to control what you say, your body language, and the impression you give off to get away with it.
We also learn quickly to judge polite lies less severely than selfish lies. In an experiment, children were given a disappointing present. Obviously, the youngest had the hardest time trying to hide their emotions. Interestingly, those raised in a stricter environment are better at lying to save face than those raised more democratically.
Animals lie, too. Crows make reserves of food. If it knows it is being watched, a crow will pretend to hide food in one place, wait until its observer checks the false stash, and then conceal it somewhere else. Proof that they understand others’ state of mind.
And let’s define two types of lies. One that is selfish; to escape punishment from having already committed a wrong, to avoid embarrassment, or to gain an advantage. The other is kind. We lie to save face. We give compliments we don’t actually believe to cheer up friends and we stay silent about our opinions to avoid arguments.
We also lie to ourselves. If you tell yourself the same story over and over it will eventually stick. This will replace the original story. Witness testimonies are notoriously untrustworthy. Leading questions and hearing others’ accounts influence us and we convince ourselves of false memories we did not actually experience. Lying to ourselves validates us. It is unimaginable that we cannot justify our choices, or they are not coherent. Lies can fill the gap between two opposing beliefs. Here, lies come from a desire for logic and consistency.
The law punishes lies like fraud, slander, or giving false witness statements. Yet, recent research has shown we believe lying about our intentions does not invalidate consent. Participants thought that a doctor performing surgery after lying to receive consent is more acceptable than a doctor who does so without asking at all.
This begs the question: Why do we believe lies?
Lies are comforting. We want to believe the lie because it allows us to ignore a conflict. Conspiracy theories are often based on narcissism. They make you think you are smarter than everyone else and it means you are part of a group. They flatter you. Other weaknesses that make us more vulnerable include naivety and ignorance. Lies mean we can cover up fears and insecurities. When they are short and easy to understand, they spread further.
Like the fake quote at the start. Machiavelli said no such thing. Though his name has become synonymous with ruthless deception and political manipulation, he actually denounced immorality: “It cannot be called a virtue to kill one’s fellow citizens, to betray one’s friends, to be without loyalty, without mercy, without religion; by such methods, one can acquire power, but not glory.”
But that one is not as catchy as the first.