He’s the guy that you just met through another friend of yours, and he has become the new addition into your circle of friends. You start to see him regularly and yes, he is hot! You think that since he is new, there is no harm in fooling around, right? He’s single, you’re single, and you seem to get on quite nicely.
Naturally, you get close to him and start flirting with him, making it subtly known that you are interested. You don’t put too much thought into whether you want a relationship or whether you want to have fun, after all, nothing’s happened yet. As time goes by, you start talking more, start making plans together excluding the rest of the group, and then one day it just happens. At the beginning you are both discreet, he might just tell his best mates and you tell your best friends.
Most of us at this stage want to play it cool so you don’t drive the guy away, you decide not to ask any questions and just play along with it. This is where the little wonderland you created comes crumbling down; this is where all the confusion and drama begins because you might not be on the same page. You might be thinking that this will lead to a relationship whereas he speaks of you as “just a friend” or vice versa.
To avoid all the drama, confusion and the pain, you must both be clear from an early stage. At the point that you start talking more and more, confiding to one another, you can discreetly ask him at what stage he is in his life. Through this you start the conversation of whether each of you wants to be in a relationship or wants something casual, just for fun. In contrast, even if you do talk about it before, things may change; you might begin as something fun and at some point one of you may want something more.
To relieve yourself from all the drama, you must first answer honestly these three simple questions:
- What do you need in your life right now? Do you want something serious or not?
- Do you have time for a relationship, between your studies and your hobbies?
- Is this the suitable person for what you want right now?
If you are able to answer these three questions, you should take the initiative and honestly clear the situation with your guy. He might not be on the same page as you and you might need to end it soon, you have to trust yourself that it is better to end it now than allowing yourself to get hurt in the future.
Best of luck figuring it out.
Edited by Nicole Swain
Sources:
http://sandrahenderson.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/young-couple.jpg
http://3mrlfe2273fnqwgft3pdn8jx.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploa…