I’m not sure quite what I was expecting as I climbed the staircase to the Twisted Pole dance studio. After signing up for one of the taster sessions for the bargain of £2.50, I had vague hopes of discovering my inner sassy pole dancing alter ego, strutting my stuff while awash with the feeling of female empowerment. I wanted music. I wanted diva-ship. I wanted to be Beyoncé. However, after finally reaching the studio after a hike up about 4 flights of stairs and already feeling it may be time for a break, I realised this may not be the case.
The Twisted Pole, Nottingham
After a quick warm up of aerobic exercises and stretching we then gathered in reverent groups of twos and threes around the poles. We were then shown some basic moves by our pole dancing instructor beginning with a basic sassy walk around the pole. ‘Okay’, I thought, ‘This seems doable’. And that was the last move I managed to pull off with anything close to grace. While the instructor demonstrated various simple moves to us with graceful elegance and apparent ease, I then launched myself at the pole and attempted to copy. And I learned something very important. Pole dancing is HARD.
My Pole Dancing Reality
Sweating like a pig and pulling grotesque faces as I desperately attempted to hoist myself up and swing round the pole, I have never felt less sexy in my life. I have new found respect for those that can manage it, as the amount of upper body strength, or indeed any strength required to pull off some of the moves is immense, and unfortunately rather beyond my capacity. However that isn’t to say having a go wasn’t great fun. Even while failing miserably at most of the moves, it was an excellent workout for the upper body and core and was far more stimulating than a regular gym session. Also, despite preconceptions, I discovered it can be a sport for anyone. Girls of all shapes, sizes and levels of ability were taking part, which for someone who is about as fit and flexible as a plank of wood, was something of a relief. Thankfully the instructor and the two advanced students helping were very friendly and accepting of my total ineptitude, and didn’t mind repeating moves again. And again. And again and again.
After a careful evaluation I have reluctantly concluded that a pole dancing career just isn’t going to happen. The student loan will have to suffice for now. But as a form of fitness I would definitely recommend it. Whether you have a gymnastics past and want to try a more advanced intermediate level or just fancy hurling yourself round a pole with some friends while getting fit it is certainly worth a try. And who knows? You may succeed where I have failed. You could be Beyoncé.
Edited by Mackenzie Orrock
Sources:
https://www.tumblr.com/search/pole+dancing+cat
http://giphy.com/gifs/flawless-music-video-beyonce-eTsGxIKqaCdgY