For many, your 20’s are believed to be the best years of your life, I mean the phrase ‘young, wild and free’ exists for a reason, right? Throughout media, your 20’s are represented as a highly romanticised part of your life as you move from teen to adult and ‘find yourself’, however many are in fact finding this not to be the case, especially with this romanticisation being heightened through people only posting the most positive elements of their life on social media for the world to see.
However in reality, for a majority of young people today your 20s involves desperately searching for jobs and struggling to even afford to move out in the current housing crisis, and across social media a discussion of the intensity of loneliness in your 20’s has begun. Your 20’s are a time of immense change, within which you and your peers finish school and find yourselves at different destinations, from moving away from home, struggling to make new friends, starting new jobs or even starting families, it can sometimes feel like a never ending cycle of change.
Rewire your Social Media
I’ve seen a lot of people state that the one way to fight this feeling of loneliness, and many other negative emotions that may stem from social media use, is to ‘detox’, or delete, social media altogether. If this works for you then great! However, for many, entirely getting rid of social media is a daunting task, and one that may not actually always be the best solution. That’s why I believe another great way to fight against this feeling is through ‘rewiring’ the way in which you use social media. In the same way that clearing out your wardrobe or your spring cleaning your bedroom makes you feel rejuvenated, so can clearing out your social media platforms of unhealthy accounts. At the start of last year, I went through my following list on platforms such as Instagram and unfollowed any accounts that have previously resulted in me feeling negatively, whether that be through comparing my body image to those represented, or comparing my lifestyle to that of an influencer my age, and began to only follow people who genuinely bring me joy. At the end of the day, your social media accounts are something only you have control over, and when they are also something that can affect your mental health so heavily, you need to make the active effort to curate a platform that inspires rather brings you down.
Learn to be Alone, but Not Lonely
Throughout your 20s, and in fact the rest of your life, you may spend hours on end on your own. However, one thing that I believe was incredibly important for me to learn was that just because you are alone that does not mean you are in fact lonely. In fact, being alone can be beneficial and comfortable in so many ways, from being able to focus on your physical and mental health, to learning more about yourself, about what you enjoy and how you like to spend your time regardless of those around you. Within your alone time, you can learn new hobbies, try out new coffee shops, explore nature, the possibilities are endless, and doing any of these activities alone should never be viewed as a negative thing.
Focus on your Friendships!
For many years, friendships seem to happen naturally, especially when throughout school you are constantly surrounded by your peers. However, once you leave school, you need to put much more effort into nurturing these friendships, especially once your 20’s hit and the people you once spent every day with are now scattered around the country, or even abroad. From scheduling a facetime call, to regular coffee dates or dinners, putting in the effort to see your friends is incredibly important. Whilst this seems like obvious advice when fighting loneliness, it can be something that is so easily overlooked within the hectic schedules of your life and is something so vital when it comes to your wellbeing.
Learn a New Hobby
It’s cheesy and cliche, but learning hobbies really is the perfect way to fight the feeling of loneliness. On a more obvious note, learning new hobbies results in meeting a wealth of new people and in turn, potential friends! However, many hobbies may be more solo endeavors, but this does not mean that they aren’t helpful in the fight against the feeling of loneliness. Craft hobbies such as crochet or sewing are a great way to distract yourself from the feeling of loneliness, as well as resulting in a feeling of fulfillment through creating something that perfectly fights loneliness. Filling your life with hobbies, whether within a team or alone, create a sense of fulfilment and joy that more often than not fill the gaps in your life within which the feeling of loneliness usually grows, and helps you develop a stronger feeling of self.
Talk to a Professional
At the end of the day, feeling lonely can be devastating, and can have a detrimental effect on your mental health. If you believe you need to, help is out there, and you should always reach out to a medical professional if you are struggling. You are not alone; however lonely you feel.
Overall, the irony is that the majority of people have felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness at some point in their life, regardless of whether they are truly alone or not. Life can be difficult, and the changes that are happening around you in your 20’s allows for this lonely feeling to grow until it can feel unbearable, but learning to enjoy your time alone and explore who you are can be an incredibly fulfilling and rewarding experience. Your 20’s may be a time of overwhelming change, but it is also a time for overwhelming growth if you allow it and work towards it.