From cabbage diets to galaxy leggings and the rise of skibidi toilet, the internet has forever existed a place to create, harbour, nurture and then subsequently leave trends to die. Trends come and go, jeans become baggy and then skinny and then baggy again, we paint our nails the “colour of the season” and then mere weeks later wish to never see anything cerulean ever again. I fear this is the way the internet will forever operate; it has done so since the dawn of its time, but as society evolves and social media grows, a new trend is emerging. Whether it is ‘in’ to wear the Molly Mae leather jacket or to slick back your hair until you stink of Eco style gel, it appears that the trend itself is to rely these so-called ‘It Girls’ to tell you who to be. I suppose this begs the question: Is the latest trend to stop standing out?
There has been an innumerable rise on social media in the past few months of something that can only be categorized as the ‘What are we…’ phenomena. What are we wearing to the clubs? What shoes are we wearing this winter? Are we still wearing uggs? What lip gloss is in right now? What coats are cute for winter? Are skinny jeans back? Do we have to wear skinny jeans? It is inescapable, it is everywhere. Social media has reached a point where people can’t function unless they are told what they are supposed to like or who they are supposed to be. We cannot survive without TikTok shop trends and products linked in the description box below. We need Amazon storefronts and product codes pasted in comment sections in order to know how we should be existing in society.
As Christmas approaches a rise has been seen in a similar type of video and people take to TikTok to ask: What are we asking for for Christmas? What are we putting on our Christmas lists this year? WE? The last time I checked the big guy with the list only required me to look out for me? But apparently once I am on the good list I have to rely on the ‘It Girls’ to tell me what Sol De Janeiro perfume I want? Not only does this continue to reinforce the hive mind mentality that social media has so carefully hand-crafted, but is also a significant factor in the overconsumption concern that is also rapidly rising in the past few years. Perhaps if you can’t remember that four weeks ago it was trending to dress your Stanley cup up like Polly Pocket and take it out for walks like a greyhound then you probably do not need the accessories for it and maybe we shouldn’t be relying on strangers on the internet to remind us that we want these things for Christmas?
Systemically and historically, women function as the key target consumer for the majority of products that are put out on the market. The media has a chronicled and long documented habit of creating fake problems in women’s lives, whether that be to trick us into thinking we are vile for having underarm hair, or that we are monsters for having cellulite, and thus in turn creates and sells us the solution with a product or lifestyle that will magically allow us to “fit in” or succeed. Did you know that Lysol disinfectant was originally targeted at women as a hygiene solution?
“You could lose his love!”, “She was a “perfect wife… except for one neglect” or “She won college honors but flunked as a wife” (Yes these were real advert titles for Lysol directed at women). There is no denying this system has been in place before Tiktok was even a thought scribbled on a napkin, and so now, over one hundred and fifty years later, when we ask the world to tell us who to be, when we rely on social media to guide us towards what is “trendy”, we are continuing to leave the door open for corrupt systems and organisations to exploit us as women. We are telling them that it’s okay to tell us who to be, that we need those answers so please sell them to us. This whole concept leaves people petrified to discover who they are, to stray outside the box because you are subjecting yourself to uncertainty and insecurity when you do something that you cannot see being replicated by the girls that strangers on the internet validate as beautiful. Confusing ideas about our agency as women have been in place since the dawn of time. As young girls we are constantly told what is appropriate for us to do. How we are supposed to sit (cross-legged), what we are supposed to play with (dolls), what colors we are supposed to like (pink). We are fed ideas about what we as girls are supposed to be like with a great degree less freedom than young boys. And then as we grow up this constant idea of ‘appropriateness’ stays close, what to wear or to eat or to enjoy, and therefore we come into womanhood, into the age of social media in such a place of vulnerability. Social media is able to reinforce this preexisting doubt of who am I? It is no wonder it becomes safe to latch onto whatever the prettiest or loudest or most popular creators and voices on social media are pushing.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
It can take a long time to break away from the “what are WE wearing or doing mentality” and figure out the things you like and the things you enjoy. The second you recognise that you might not enjoy what the internet is telling you to and begin to take some steps back, that can be vastly daunting, to not know what you actually like and to have no one telling you the answers, but I fear that might be the beauty of human life. What a privilege it is to still be figuring things out about yourself, to discover things you love and decide on the things you don’t. And then watch that change one hundred times. And you are allowed to like what the so called “It Girls” like, you are allowed to enjoy things that are trending and popular, but you are also allowed to question whether you actually like something or if you think that it is what you are supposed to like. Find things that serve you, things that you like and want, things that serve your desires, not just what the internet is telling you to like.