I recently read the excellent ‘How to Be Perfect’ by Michael Schur (writer and creator for shows including The
Office (US); Brooklyn 99; Parks and Recreation; and crucially, The Good Place). Schur wrote the book having
completed The Good Place to surmise the extensive research he did during the show’s planning and writing
stages. The book, of ironic tittle, is essentially a dummies guide to moral philosophy; it is made accessible and,
consequently, less daunting. (Although it is still philosophy, and as the title implies, it literally introduces the
notion of being “perfect”, so, you know, it’s not going to be appearing of the Smyth’s toys Christmas 2022
best buys anytime soon).
Early in the book Aristotle’s principle of virtue ethics is introduced; this is one of the real giants of
philosophical theory, and one of the oldest. Virtue ethics is the idea that humans are at their best and living
their best lives when certain qualities are at a perfect balanced medium.1
Not too much, not too little.
Reminiscent of Goldilocks? A whole sister theory borrows the nursery rhymes tittle so you’re not alone in
that logical comparison. In total, Aristotle outlined seven qualities: Trust, Compassion, Courage, Justice,
Wisdom, Temperance and Hope.
However, given Aristotle wrote his list of virtues 37 centuries ago, I think it’s fair to say the copyright claims have
expired and we can, by now, make our own Etsy knockoffs.
I’m talking of adding virtues or even fully creating our own personal list. After long introduction, brings
me to the matter in hand; I would like to propose and focus on a somewhat contradictory, but equally all
encompassing virtue: comparison.
Everywhere I see instances of derogatory comparison and nine times out of ten the consequences are
negative! I see: the comparison of public figures across the news, the comparison of celebrities to their
younger selves, friends comparing themselves to others, or even comparing themselves to themselves. We
live in a competitive world and comparison is inevitable, and it can be a useful vehicle for improvement and
motivation, but it should remain in careful moderation. Whilst it can be good, it is also often dangerous,
corrupting and suspicious, and that’s why I think it might be the pinnacle of the modern re-vamped version of
Aristotle’s virtues.
Unsurprisingly, the media is the root of much comparison. Remember how Kate and Megan were pitted
against each other over bumps, avocados and outfits. Think about how we see comparison evidenced in
terrible before/after style “Revenge body” and plastic surgery articles.2
This environment is making
individuals believe that other people actually do compare them to others on first interaction. I hate to
suggest it, but maybe there is some truth. Maybe some people do make rudimental comparisons on surface
level attributes during first meetings, but in which case they’ve been taught this behaviour somewhere along
the line and I’d put my bets and blame on the media every time.
The perilous consequence is internal comparison: comparing yourself to the day before, or week before, or
where you want to be in a year to come. Internal comparison is probably the most common, yet the most
ridiculous. We are not, and never going to be, machines that respond to feedback in a constant upwards
trajectory. Especially as women when everything else inside us has its own ungovernable agenda. Hey, maybe
you have the best self-esteem, routinely compare yourself to others and always come out smiling. It must be
refreshing, but then perhaps maybe that’s just a humility deficit?
Ultimately, the problem with comparison is that it inevitably allocates shame to one, a few, or even all of the
parties being compared. It points out things to criticise and marks them ripe for humiliation. I believe we’d all
benefit from consciously trying to keep our tendency for comparison in check, rather than fuel it up with toxic
internet culture and let it run wild.
I do highly recommend Schur’s book, even if you only read Part One before it finds a permanent residence on
your bookshelf. It will open up untapped insight and awareness of yourself, and as an extra benefit, the
people who walk in and see it on your bookshelf will immediately form the conclusion that, having read it,
you must be a ‘perfect’ person. A flattery you can revel in until, inspired by your perfection, source and
read a copy themselves. At this point they will recognize that perfection is merely a construct, and it was
simply an excess of haste and impressionability that lead them to such a conclusion, but hey, they’ll see you
as ‘perfect’ for maybe a week or two, less if they have Prime of course, and that’s no compliment to be sniffed
at!3
1 This isn’t “living our best lives” in the sense of holidays and aesthetic brunches but rather our most profitable
lives that produce the most good within our environments. This is not to say Polaroids cannot feature.
2 Camilla Cabello is harassed by articles objectifying her body. Milly Bobby Brown and Olivia Rodrigo (18 and 19
respectively) are routinely interrogated by the media for surgery rumours and fashion choices. Zac Efron’s swollen
jaw is somehow continuing to make headlines even after confirmation of legitimate surgery.
3 If I still haven’t convinced you that How to be Perfect is worth a read then I’d remind you that if nothing else, you
will benefit in experiencing another facet to Schur’s witty comedy. The footnotes included in this article are a nod
to Schur’s style and his teetering between academic and amusing executed in the same manner throughout the
book.