5 myths lesbian and bisexual girls have to put up with

I first realised I liked girls when I was about 12 and I remember feeling terrified about it because I thought there was something wrong with me. I'd grown up in a pretty traditional, religious Asian family and I knew it wouldn’t go down well if they found out. So instead, I made up crushes to throw them off the scent. I’d seen girls in my school who had come out as bisexual or lesbian get bullied mercilessly about it and so I didn’t actually come out of the closet until I came to uni. Whilst it was amazing everyone was so accepting, I ended up coming across a lot of weird misconceptions about girls who liked girls. So, without further ado, here are the most common stereotypes about gay girls:

  1. “You must be super into threesomes!”- This is one I'm sure every gay girl has come across because it seems to be the fantasy of pretty much every guy out there, but it is a bit weird to assume every LGBT+ girl you come across would immediately be down for one.
  2. “OMG you’re not even that butch!”- Being butch is something that has been part of lesbian culture for a long, long time and whilst there are some lesbians who identify as that, there are also many who don’t. At the end of the day, do looks really matter when it boils down to sexuality?
  3. I don't feel comfortable about sharing a bed with her”- After a night out I was about to share a bed with a friend and she ended up complaining to everyone else about it. Her reason wasn’t even because she didn’t know me very well but because she found out I was attracted to women. She didn’t want to share a bed with me because she was terrified I'd try to “seduce” her, even though I told her multiple times I didn’t find her attractive.

  1. “Lesbian bed death must definitely be a common thing for all gay girls”- The Journal of Sexual Medicine did a study where they observed orgasm frequencies in sex with men and women. Lesbians had a rate of 75% compared to heterosexual women, who had a rate of 61%. There are also other studies that have had similar results, so whilst lesbian bed death might be a thing for some girls, statistically, it’s definitely not something every lesbian goes through.
  2. “You’re more likely to cheat on people”- I've come across guys who have flat out said they wouldn’t be in a relationship with a bisexual girl - apparently the chance of the girl cheating is higher because there are twice as many people they could be attracted to. Surely cheating on someone is more to do with ethics and morals as opposed to sexual orientation?