When starting to read this book, I was expecting a guide on how to approach and maintain healthy relationships in life. But this book is about how to navigate the daunting twenties, dealing with arising conflicts, and the true trials and tribulations of love (platonic and romantic) through Alderton’s perspective.
Vicious drunk nights, spontaneous trips to cities and back, awkward house parties with unique characters, and useful recipes are seen to be the credentials for the UK ‘rite of passage’ of transitioning into adulthood, according to Alderton. Not one journey is linear, perfect, and beautiful, so it is best to enjoy as many bits as you can. They are all different, and comparing our journeys to others is just as damaging as tying tight ponytails – We can tie them too much to the point of damage. However, this damage can be fixed over time if we do it the right way. We should take care of it, not apply pressure, eat well, and nourish it with products. This example can be applied to the navigation of our twenties; as though it is a confusing time, not being patient, compassionate, and aware of what surrounds us could cause potential damage to not just ourselves, but to others around us. Those around us create the abundance of love that surrounds us dearly, despite the turbulent experience of our twenties.
I took my time to finish the book, as I was taking it in and applying some of Alderton’s lessons to how I approached certain situations in my life. Life shouldn’t be tackled and enjoyed alone as it makes it much more difficult. Witty and warm, it’s a nice book to read for comfort this winter on a long train journey or even next summer when on holiday!
I would love to add how the theme of girlhood is not to be forgotten. Alderton presents how vulnerability and the amount of love needed to be poured into female platonic friendships is so important. Several of her and her friends’ milestones required the presence of their friends, as they became crutches to the events encountered. Friendships offer such a vast amount of support, guidance, and devotion that Alderton states “Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learnt in my long-term relationships with women.” Female friendships offer a depth of connection and honesty that is difficult to imitate. It is profound, cherishable, and snug, where the quality of friendship is more powerful than the quantity of friendships.