What percentage of ND students do you think are sexually active? AND What is the craziest place you (or someone you know) has had sex on campus? AND why do guys think it’s hot to send girls pictures of their dicks?
-Stats Class
Dear Stats Class,
I don’t think I could accurately give you a figure, but if I had to guesstimate, I’d say about 60% of guys and 40% of girls. I’ve met people and thought Oh, he’s down for sure and then it turns out he’s been with his girlfriend since junior high and they’re waiting. Or someone who won’t even talk about sex and seems highly uncomfortable with the scenario is actually phenomenal in bed. You never really know what people are into. There definitely is a sexual culture here at ND– people just don’t like to talk about it.
I actually haven’t been too creative when it comes to places (seriously, the most outlandish is just a bathroom inside a dorm room), but I have a friend who has made it her mission to have sex in every building on campus. She’s actually making good progress on her list!
In terms of dick pics, I honestly don’t know where to start. I hate them. I find them tacky and repulsive, but at this point I’ve seen so many of them that I just laugh. What else am I gonna do? If you’re really bothered by it you can report him for harassment or block his number, but what I usually do is reply with a really ugly picture of my nostrils. Unless he has a nose fetish that’ll turn him off enough that he’ll probably stop.
Pure Kisses,
Gemma
How do you get over being embarrassed about going down on your boyfriend? Done it before with other guys, we were always drunk, but now I am so self-conscious of it, not sure I’m good at it yet.
-Downtown Girl
Dear Downtown Girl,
Google. I’m not kidding. My friends like to tease me say that practice makes perfect, and yes, practice does allow you the freedom to apply your knowledge, but you’ve got to know the theory behind it. There are so many articles and how-to’s on how to perfect your oral skills that it can almost be overwhelming. What helped me the most was finding guides written by sex therapists– licensed professionals who make it their business to assist the curious. But before you even delve into that, ask yourself one thing: who are you doing this for? It shouldn’t be about just wanting to please your guy. It should be about a boost of confidence, about being able to not second-guess yourself, and for the sake of your dynamic as a couple. You have to be generous when it comes being sexually intimate with someone, but you also have to take care of yourself. Don’t make it all about him.
Also, talk to him about it. Set aside an afternoon, voice your concerns, and ask him for help. Have him tell you what feels good, what he likes, what doesn’t work, etc. If you guys can talk about it openly you’ll let your guard down and be much less apprehensive when actually doing the deed.
Best Wishes,
Gemma
How do you get a Notre Dame boy to date if you’ve only been hooking up?
-Taken Seriously
Dear Taken Seriously,
I wish all Notre Dame boys were the same and they gave us a booklet along with DuLac that would explain how to deal with them. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. All guys are different. I’ve had casual hookups that just fizzled out, hookups that ended in blowout fights, and hookups that turned into long term relationships. It really depends on your dynamic with the guy. You can go one of three ways: end it, talk to him, or keep quiet. If you end it (whether it’s too painful for you, or you’re just not feeling it anymore), make sure you’re doing it for you and not to teach him a lesson. If you talk to him, you have to go in being aware of the potential outcomes. There’s a chance he has feelings for you. But there’s also a chance that he doesn’t, and if he doesn’t, it’s probably going to end. If you’re okay with running that risk, I say talking to him is your best option. Keeping quiet isn’t healthy. If you feel like you have to because you’re afraid you’re going to lose him, it’s because deep down you know that it isn’t going to work out and you should call it quits now. Point is, hookups are fun, but it’s hard for both parties to remain casual. So just make sure you’re protecting your own heart above all else.
May the luck of the Irish be with you,
Gemma
*Need hook-up advice? Ask Gemma here.