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Where Can I Get a Good Vibe? Ask Gemma.

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Notre Dame chapter.

What’s your take on vibrators? Any recommendations like where to buy them or what type to get?

-Bunny

 

Dear Bunny,

I personally love vibrators. They come in all shapes and sizes and serve a bunch of different purposes. I have two recommendations: the Bullet and the Rabbit. The Bullet is small, discreet, and focuses on external stimulation. You can carry it around in your purse, it’s easy to travel with, and super easy to clean. The one downside is that there’s only so much it can do for you. Because it’s so small it’s quite limited in what it can do, but it isn’t super expensive and it’s a good investment, especially if it’s your first time purchasing a vibrator. If you’re a little more experienced, or you’re looking for the full experience, you can’t go wrong with the Rabbit. It’s both internal and external stimulation, it’s got a bunch of different intensities and speeds, and holy moly does it get the job done. Some of the higher speeds are actually a little too intense (in my opinion), but it gives you good variety to play with. It comes in a bunch of fun different colours, and the packaging is super discreet so you can order it online and not be mortified when the delivery man asks you to sign for it. It can be a little on the pricier side, but it’s definitely worth it– these things last for years as long as you clean then regularly.

Don’t be an Energy Vampire though,

Gemma.

 

 

 

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him, so I’m not so nervous about sex anymore. Except I am. The other night, I was out at a bar and a guy invited me back to his place. I really wanted to go, but I was nervous about what would most likely happen. Not that I was scared to have sex with him, but more scared that I still don’t really know what I’m doing. What are the general steps that happen when a girl goes back with a guy and will he totally judge? Help me!

-Should I Touch You There

 

Dear Should I Touch You There,

First of all, it’s normal to be nervous about sex, whether it’s your first partner or your twentieth. It’s the most physically intimate connection two people can share, so don’t feel bad about getting panicky. Here’s a fun fact that most people don’t acknowledge: we’re animals. Animals are sexual creatures because we were meant to procreate. So believe it or not, everyone is inherently good at sex. It doesn’t sound like you’re nervous about doing the actual deed again, but rather apprehensive about your skills. I can guarantee that you aren’t giving yourself enough credit here. I don’t believe that sex is one of those things where practice makes perfect. I believe that you have to go with the flow in each different instance. So next time you want to go home with a guy, take that leap of faith and just trust your gut instincts. I know that sounds really lame, but I swear it works. You need to trust your own body. The amount of hormones and neurotransmitters (dopamine, anyone?) rushing through our bodies when we’re turned on is unreal, so let them guide you. Sex is such a carnal instinct that if you keep second guessing yourself you’re going to let your brain take over and that kind of defeats the purpose of being physically intimate with someone. Be aware of your surroundings and always make safety a priority, but give in to what feels good to your body. If it’s getting to the point where you’re holding yourself back because you’re so nervous, look up articles written by sexologists. It’s a less intimidating, more methodological way to learn about sex. Don’t be afraid to explore and experiment. You’re in control of your own body and your own sexuality, and it’s up to you how much you want to delve into it.

Passionate Kisses,

Gemma

 

*Have an anonymous hook-up question for Gemma? Ask here.

Intimate Encounters is a new column I'll be writing for Her Campus ND and I decided to become a part of it because I want people (especially women) to start feeling comfortable with their sex life. I’m not here to lecture, preach, or tell you that everything that I have done or will do in my sex life is the right or wrong thing to do. I’m going to talk about mistakes that I’ve made, amazing experiences that I’ve had, firsts (a lot of firsts), funny stories, awkward moments, and people that have made a difference in the woman I’ve become. Hopefully I’ll also be able to answer any questions you might have-- seriously, no shame.