I grew up loving Valentine’s Day; I would wear pink and red to school and my parents would always surprise me with my favorite chocolates. I would spend hours crafting the perfect valentines, and I would giggle furiously with my friends as we walked around the classroom, dropping them in each other’s mailboxes. But Valentine’s Day in elementary school was pure and innocent bliss; and as I grew up, my feelings about the holiday began to shift.
I’ll never forget the feeling of the first Valentine’s Day I spent with a boyfriend. I was giddy and excited on February 14th that year. We didn’t have time to go to dinner, but he showed up at my house with roses and my favorite ice cream, all innocence and fluttering butterflies. That year, Valentine’s Day felt worth it, because I was in love.
But I’ll also never forget the first Valentine’s Day I spent sad and lonely, wondering why the second boy I loved couldn’t love me the way I wanted him to. That year, February 14th straight up sucked, but that’s because I was dealing with my first real heartbreak.
I have been at both ends of the spectrum—avid Valentine’s Day fan to full-fledged hater. And it was always dependent on what was going on in my romantic life.
This year, I wasn’t sure where I stood on the spectrum. I’m not in love, but I’m not heartbroken either, I thought, and I do wonder if the cute boy I always see in North will ever talk to me. Sure, I acknowledge the fact that I miss being in love, and that I miss those Valentine’s Days when I felt on top of the world. I’ll be the first to admit that when February rolled up this year, I felt a little lonely. I know that there are many others in the same boat.
But then I realized, above all, Valentine’s Day is a day of love. Yes, this is usually interpreted in the romantic sense, but it can also be about so much more. To the girl who is feeling lonely this Valentine’s Day, remember that your worth isn’t reflected by a holiday. Even if you’re not in a relationship, you can find love in so many other places. Send your mom flowers, make a card for your best friend or buy chocolates for your sister. Hang out with your friends and people who lift you up, people who remind you of the magic of human connection. I hope this Valentine’s Day, you bake cookies, marvel at the sky and dance to songs that make you feel alive even if you feel lonely. Remember that there are so many other ways “to love and be loved” beyond just romance. It’s important to celebrate the love we have for our significant others, but it’s just as important to celebrate all the other love that adds so much beauty to life—the love we have for our families, for our friends, for our passions and for ourselves.
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