Using Music to Get through the Worst Week of My Life

There is nothing that can sugarcoat the ugly truth: my roommate and I tested positive for COVID-19 and were put in isolation the Friday of Halloweekend. It absolutely sucks when you find out it wasn’t you who brought the virus into your “household”. I felt wronged, and absolutely hated having to tell my friends that they too were going to be contact traced on one of the best weekends of the semester. 

I’ll be honest: the majority of my week was spent with resentment and sorrow. Going on social media was depressing and I couldn’t bring myself to get anything done. It also didn’t help that I had a fever in addition to my excessive coughing and the unpleasant feeling of my bones feeling like soup. But instead of drowning in a never ending typhoon of emotions, I actually discovered something new about the way I think. 

Normally I’m not the type of person obsessed with music genres. If the rhythm or lyrics are catchy, chances are, I’m jamming to it; whether it be country, EDM, rap, lofi beats or even pop, I’m versatile. If I’m feeling a certain mood, however, I tend to turn off music and just stick to watching YouTube, or a movie. It usually serves as background noise, drowning out my personal emotions, as if it was magically hiding them from my consciousness. 

But last weekend, I had the strongest urge to listen to sad, overdramatic songs — think James Arthur, Lewis Capaldi or Ed Sheeran. At first, I was concerned that this may trap me in an infinite loop of negativity and depression. I had never felt so lonely, sick and low in my life, and most of my emotions were foreign to me. But as my emotions kept piling up, listening to music actually brought out my raw feelings. Song lyrics began to supplement my thoughts, which in turn helped me articulate my feelings and start coping with them. 

Throughout my life I’ve considered myself to be someone who is proactive about being honest with  myself, watching my mental health and taking personal time  when needed is a priority. But oftentimes we get hit with news that is completely out of our control. Unexpected news can throw you off course in the most sudden and unexpected way possible. 

But at such a low point, I actually began to realize that self care methods are something that can constantly change depending on the person. My number one method to taking care of my mental health before was always  through physical exercise or media. But last weekend, neither were viable options. It was very easy to feel scared and vulnerable, but at such times, it is so important to keep your options open and try different methods. I am for sure glad that I stuck with my gut instinct, because I now have a newfound appreciation for music therapy.