Having a great, solid group of guy friends is one of the best things in the world. Guy friends are great; they give you honest opinions on things, they don’t cause a great amount of drama, they won’t judge you for the amount of food you scarf down, and they can always be backup dates if you need them.
One of the biggest cons of having guy friends, however, is that there is ALWAYS the possibility that you will fall in love with them. Who wouldn’t fall in love with someone who makes you laugh and smile, someone who understands you, someone who is your support system?
One of the worst situations a girl can be placed in romantically is one where her feelings for her best guy friend (BGF) are not reciprocated. This situation is known as the friendzone, and coming from an individual who was in this predicament for years, I can guarantee you that it sucks. Fortunately, I learned through experience and observation that there are three main ways that you can curb your excruciating crush on your best guy friend.
Go on dates!
Don’t want to risk your friendship by admitting your feelings to your best guy friend? Then get yourself out there! Go on dates, hook up with other guys if you want, and have fun! Just because the feelings between you and your BGF aren’t mutual doesn’t mean that you can’t go out and meet new people.
Maybe you’ll meet someone who turns your head even more than your BGF does. Maybe you’ll decide that your BGF is someone you actually want to romantically pursue. Getting yourself out there and meeting new people can help you identify what you want for your friendship moving forward and can also help you practice your flirting and dating skills!
Here’s a tip I learned the hard way: do not hookup or date your BGF’s friends. It only serves to complicate things between the guy friends and confuse things between you, your BFG, and your new hottie. It is definitely fixable, but it just makes things weird for a while, and some guys don’t take that awkwardness as easily as others.
Do Nothing
This sounds like an obvious option, but based on experience, most girls feel like they have to act right away on their feelings. Sometimes one of the easiest things to do with feelings is to wait it out. It may seem almost impossible to be with this individual at times, but if you are unsure of the path you want to take in approaching your feelings for your BGF, than maybe time really is on your side for this one. Create a game plan, discuss it over with your friends and family, and decide what you feel would best benefit you in the long run.
TELL HIM ALREADY!
This is by far the scariest, riskiest, and possibly the most rewarding option of the three. On one hand, it can be terrifying to be vulnerable and admit your feelings to your BGF. What if it ruins things? What if things become awkward? What if he completely rejects you and you’re left heartbroken? While these are all valid feelings, sometimes it’s better to be honest and lay out all of your feelings on the table.
Who knows? Maybe he reciprocates the feeling? If not, it might make you feel better that he knows and that you can rid of that incredible pressure of holding in that giant secret. It helps in eliminating all uncertainty that you have about his feelings for you, and can even help you move on faster without that lingering doubt.
I was in the friendzone for two years, during which I made every mistake and said every dumb thing in the book. I did all three of these things, but I feel in hindsight, staying independent and remaining true to myself were the bests thing I could have done. My BGF has been my boyfriend for two years now, and the rewards of dating your BGF are innumerable. Don’t give up, but don’t give in to your feelings either! Most importantly, never forget that the person that deserves to have your heart should be one who most appreciates it.
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