Since I’ve started college, I’ve noticed a different type of “New Year Resolution”-like trend in myself. It happens whenever the new semester starts. I go to my syllabus week classes and I envision myself completing the work on time. The amount of time between now and May seems huge and I feel like I can do anything with my semester.
With three semesters gone by, my more realistic self is aware that I cannot and will not do everything that I feel like I have the time for this semester. Do I want to use every moment of this semester to my advantage? Do I want to get all of my reading and work on time so that I can find that ever elusive beast of free time that will allow me to do all of the free reading/knitting/Netflixing I want to get done—guilt-free? Of course I do.
But I also know that when it comes down to it, I will spend much of my weekends sleeping and watching Netflix. I will put off my homework to last moment and I will never feel quite like I am on top of my work. I think the real magic of syllabus week is not in its ability to give me actual free time (I’m almost always strangely busy despite my best intentions) but in its ability to deceive me into thinking that I will be able to avoid the procrastination bug enough to make myself real free time in the swiftly approaching fifteen weeks left in the semester.
For the fourth syllabus week of my college career, I am trying to enjoy this sort of self-delusion. At the same time, I definitely want to hold on to this new sense of realism I have that makes it clear that I won’t get everything done, even if I want to. I’m trying to prioritize the most important things in my mind rather than trying to get everything done. I think if I choose to focus on just a couple of these ideas and inspirations I might be able to actually complete my goals and then feel motivated throughout the semester.
My new semester reset feels a little bit like an empty New Year’s resolution. I’ve never been the type of person to make resolutions and now that I am in college, the first two weeks of the New Year still feel like the old one, as I spend them on break without feeling any need for renewed motivation or new life goals. In contrast, syllabus week feels a bit like the first week of a new year. I want to do everything and for a short while, I feel as though I can. However, as syllabus week winds down to a close, I can already feel all my plans slipping through my fingers.
The fallacy of New Year’s resolutions and the “next semester, I will do better” mindset is a bit sad but I think that if we recognize where this mindset fails, we can actually make the most of the renewed energy we feel at the start of a new year/new semester. I know that for myself I always envision myself doing too much. If I shorten my lists of goals into something attainable, I may be able to make the energy last for a bit longer and actually do something to make my new semester “better” than the last one.
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