I was born and raised in Orange County, California. I attended a moderately decent Catholic elementary school and middle school before attending public high school. My father was a real estate broker and we were relatively well off for the majority of my childhood. Yearly camping trips in San Diego were complimented with Veterans Day trips to Rosarito Beach and a few Spring Break trips to Cancun. I got what I wanted every Christmas and birthday without contest. We were a typical middle class family for all I knew.
But in 2008 our lives changed for the worst and I finally understood what it meant to have to count every dollar being spent. I had to learn at far too young of an age why my father was not invincible and the meaning of kidney disease. I had to learn what a mortgage payment was and why my parents were days away from losing my childhood home to “forgetful” banks. I learned the value of knowing people in high places all while watching friends move into motels and into their aunt’s spare room, all due to the “Great Recession” and the effects of an unequal cost of living and unemployment rate in Orange County.
I soon discovered why I could no longer spend $20 a week on frivolous things. Those yearly camping trips quickly stopped and my average life became far less average. I stopped asking for money from my parents and the dwindling Christmas gifts each year were less of a surprise and any gift that was present I accepted with a feeling of selfishness. Any suggestion of driving school or a new car for my senior year was now a topic I didn’t dare bring up. My senior year in high school I realized I had to go to college. The thought of having college loans that my parents would soon have to repay was just another burden on our already strained finances.
There are literally millions of people who have had a similar experience, and many with far worse outcomes. But at Notre Dame, money is dirty. Money is a petty subject that you’re not allowed to talk about unless it has to do with bragging about your starting salary at your summer internship. Money problems are an otherwise unheard of problem for many students. “Just take out a loan,” “Just use your dad’s credit card,” “Just ask your mom for the $800 to buy your plane tickets to go home the day before Spring Break.” If only life were that simple for everybody.
Look at all the free fun we’re having!
But enough with the pity party. There is a moral to this otherwise depressing story. I refused to allow my family’s situation to inhibit me from my success. Instead I used it as a cornerstone and a reminder of the great things in life. Through all of the challenges I have faced over the course of the last five years I have learned the value of family and love over money and material things. When my father was forced to file for disability our finances plunged. Yeah, my parents worried about money, and still do to a lesser extent today, but I channeled that stress into something more positive. No child should have to think about their family’s finances, but my overactive brain forced me to; and it helped me realize that I don’t want my life to revolve around money.
Family over everything.
The best part of all this was that I found my family coming together more strongly than we had in the past. No family vacation or pricey Christmas gift could compare to the evenings spent hiking in the mountains, watching television, or eating tacos with my grandparents. Money makes everything so much more complicated. My parents repeatedly tell me that their earliest and poorest years of marriage were their best because of the little economic responsibility they faced and the insignificance of money in their lives (and probably because they didn’t have any annoying kids to spend all their money on). And it’s true. Though we work and live to make money to support our families, it shouldn’t be the primary motive in life. This is something I try to transfer into my own life each day.
I really like these socks, if you’re reading this mom and dad…
That’s why, for the most part, I am not concerned with attaining a degree that will make me the most money. I’d rather be poor and happy, than rich and ignorant. This is probably a strange concept for many students whose primary goal is to obtain a fancy degree, and I realize I may be the exception among Notre Dame students. But, I am happier now than I have ever been in my entire life. I couldn’t tell you what the last significantly priced birthday or Christmas gift I have received from my parents was because it doesn’t really matter. Their simple presence and support in my life has been enough. If I wake up Christmas Day with nothing but a pair of socks (I’d actually really love that) under our fake Christmas tree my dad probably bought from the Goodwill I’ll turn to my parents, give them great big hugs, brew a cup of coffee, and cuddle up with my doggy. And to quote the great Biggie Smalls, “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.”