“To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.” – Theophile Gautier
The beginning of the new academic year in French is called “la rentrée,” literally meaning “the return.” I have always thought the start of a new school year should be celebrated just like the start of the new calendar year—what better time to have a holiday centered around staying up until midnight than right before classes start? After that, we’ll all be up and about well past midnight, although this time more regrettably.
Accompanying the excitement of a new school year is that second spring when we renew our hopes for finding our niche at the university. For all you freshman out there, this is your first time around the block, so savor it. In recommencing the pursuit of academic success and newfound interests, the potential for making and deepening friendships remains a hallmark of the day-to-day college experience.
How do people go about making friends in the first place? On the surface, it appears simple: you encounter people, you talk to them a little (or a lot), and then it’s, “Hey, I like you. Let’s cheer side-by-side at football games and laugh at each other’s jokes.” Although I think making friends is a little deeper than that, every friendship has to start somewhere.
Here a few places we often find friends where we might not expect:
A new activity. Activity night is not just for freshman. Sign up for the listservs of a few (not ten!) new clubs that interest, even if you are not sure you will have the time to actually participate. This way, you’ll receive the emails, just in case you do decide to join. And even if you attend a couple of club events and decide that swing-dancing or writing for The Observer isn’t really your calling, you’ll have met some people you might want to get to know better.
International students. That girl in your section from China? She represents one of the most remarkable caches of people in the student body. Think about it: would you be willing to commit to four years of study in a vast, foreign country whose campus culture has not been notable for its, let’s say, delicate connotations? International students are all-around awesome and are a big part of why ND students overall are such a refreshing presence in the world.
And for every freshman, Freshman Orientation. Before you shake your head at the memory of speed-meeting five hundred new people in a two-day period, think of this: remember the one to three people whose numbers you managed to acquire? Call them up. Invite them to meet you after the pep rallies for dinner or to tag along to the dozens of events on campus during the first few weeks. You may not clique right away, but their roommate may be your truest soulmate in the friendship sense, or otherwise. You never know!
Human interaction will define our college years and ultimately, our lives. But there’s also an element of spontaneity in the formation of a friendship, especially when you find yourself getting along with people very different from your typical high school crowd. Try not to stress about making friends too much—forget about yourself and realize that this campus is swarming with interesting, compassionate, genuine people. Happy new year!