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Intimate Encounters: Hands On

Pleasing yourself is one of the most… well, pleasurable things you can do in this life. That and eat Almond Joys and binge watch Netflix. I honestly don’t remember how old I was when I first discovered masturbation. I just remember doing it like six times a day for the next two years. I was obsessed. Once I figured out that I could make myself feel that way, I felt like I didn’t need anything else. Ever. Food? Please. Water? That’s for weaker women. Sleep? I’ll sleep when I’m– oh wait, it feels kind of nice to do it and then fall asleep. Every woman is different. We all have different bodies, different likes and dislikes. The biggest variation between women is internal versus external. Most women enjoy clitoral stimulation the most because 1) it’s easy to access, 2) it’s less messy, and 3) it’s easier to orgasm. That last one can be fixed, though. Vaginal stimulation can be ah-may-zing! if you give yourself the time to explore it. There are a thousand links on the interwebs about the female g-spot, how to stimulate it, what to do with it, how it works, etc. Here’s my advice to you: find it. And then just have fun with it. Your body is unique. Everyone has different amounts of nerve endings and different orgasm capabilities. I have friends who can climax four times in a minute and a half, and I know other people who can take forty five minutes to reach one. You won’t know until you try it.

If you’re not interested in getting better acquainted with your body, I’m not trying to tell you to go masturbate. But if you are interested, it makes life a lot more enjoyable. First off, it’s a stress reliever. Worried about midterms? Go for it. Fighting with the boyfriend? Knock yourself out. It also has medical benefits. Having an orgasm can ease menstrual cramps. What? Eww! You want me to put my hands down there when my uterus is literally falling out of me? What is wrong with you? Two solutions: buy a vibrator that you can wash off later, or do it in the shower. An orgasm can also get rid of headaches. And from a strictly sexual standpoint, masturbation allows you to understand what you do and don’t like. So next time you’re with your guy, you won’t feel lost when he’s asking you if you like it or if it feels good. “Umm, I guess?” is not an acceptableanswer. Be assertive. Know your body. And to each their own. Some girls masturbate multiple times a day. Some girls only do it when they’re really feeling the urge. Some girls never do it. Again, your body, your call. But what was that old saying? An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away! (That’s a lie, even if you’re having you time eight times a day you shouldn’t miss your checkups.) 




*Have a hookup question you need answered? Ask Gemma here.


Intimate Encounters is a new column I'll be writing for Her Campus ND and I decided to become a part of it because I want people (especially women) to start feeling comfortable with their sex life. I’m not here to lecture, preach, or tell you that everything that I have done or will do in my sex life is the right or wrong thing to do. I’m going to talk about mistakes that I’ve made, amazing experiences that I’ve had, firsts (a lot of firsts), funny stories, awkward moments, and people that have made a difference in the woman I’ve become. Hopefully I’ll also be able to answer any questions you might have-- seriously, no shame.
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