Intimate Encounters: Chit Chat

All women gossip. All men gossip. Sure, they do it to varying degrees and with a myriad of intentions, but everyone does it and if someone says they don’t, it only means that they like to gossip about you behind your back but would never admit it to your face. So what do you do when people start talking about you and your sex life? I’ve been there plenty of times before and it’s no fun. There are, however, ways to avoid it and– if you absolutely cannot do so– ways to handle it.

I’ve been in relationships pretty much my entire Notre Dame career. During the few bouts when I have been single, though, I like to have my fun. And people start to notice because everyone here is a nosy busybody with nothing to do other than tweet about people that they’re not even going to remember a few months after graduation. I once hooked up with two different guys over a weekend. That Monday someone asked me if I had been involved in a three way with my sister who had been in town that weekend. Far fetched? Yes. But did people believe it? Of course. I denied it until the ends of the earth, but that only seemed to entice people even more. I didn’t go out next weekend, and that turned into a rumour that I was in Chicago getting an abortion because I didn’t know whose baby it was– presumably from my three way the weekend before. I was miserable and didn’t show my face in public for a whole month. When I finally went out, I got death glares, whispers, and a whole lot of comments. I was mortified. Word somehow even travelled to friends of mine at other schools. Do I have a bit of a reputation for being a free spirit and sexually open? Yes. But let me ask you this: if we were at any other school, would that have fazed people, rumour or not?

So I laugh. Literally just laugh at everything I hear about me. Someone once asked me if I’d blown all the wide receivers on the football team. I responded with “Why yes, yes I did. And I threw Brian Kelly in there too for good measure.” People are always, always, always, going to want to bring other people down. Whether they’re frenemies, acquaintances, or complete strangers, I can guarantee that someone somewhere has made a negative comment about you. It can be incredibly frustrating, especially if it’s something as intimate as your sex life, but if you have to face it, stand strong. If you shy away from the problem people will think you have something to hide.

If you’d like to avoid this all together, sign a non-disclosure agreement with everyone you hook up with. I have a friend from back home who does this– she stands to inherit a very well known company and it could be bad for PR if word got out about what she sounds like when she orgasms. Okay, I know that’s extreme, but do have a conversation with your hookups. You’re sharing something unbelievably intimate with them, and you both have to be on the same level of respect. After all, what’s the point of having fun if we’re going to have to deal with massive fall out later on?