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How slutty is too slutty? Ask Gemma

Dear Gemma,

How slutty is too slutty?

-Limits

 

Dear Limits,

Girl, you just said a mouthful right there. I’m glad you asked this question. Men didn’t coin the terms “slut” and “whore,” at least not in a modern day context. I hear women use those words about other women much more often. So let me ask you a question, what would constitute calling another girl slutty? If you saw someone wearing a low mini dress and shaking her booty on the dance floor, would you call her a slut? If you would, you shouldn’t do that and expect to not get called a slut too. We all have double standards. I’ve done things that I think are totally okay, but when I hear of someone else doing something similar, I gossip about what a dirty little tramp she is. Which is awful of me, and I usually feel guilty about it, but we all do it. So I’ve taken to applying a life philosophy to my every day interactions with people. The whole ‘treat people how you want to be treated’ is crap because I am not them and they are not me. So think about this: treat people as if you were them. Everyone walks a different path and everyone goes through different experiences. Some girls are freer with their bodies or more comfortable with dancing a certain way or showing some more skin. I’ve been called every variation of the word “slut” at some point in my life. And you know what? That’s on them. Cheers to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to hell.

Love, Gemma.

 

 

Dear Gemma,

What is the best sex you’ve ever had? Like what made it so amazing?

-Tips & Tricks

 

Dear Tips & Tricks,

Woody Allen once said “The best sex I’ve ever had is the sex I’m going to have tonight.” I’m sure there are experiences that I had years ago that could top my current endeavours, but honestly they were so long ago I can’t remember the specific details that well. I will tell you this– the best sex has either been with someone I am passionately in love with, or someone I don’t care about. They’re vastly different. When you’re in love with someone, you’re completely comfortable with them. Cellulite on the back of your thighs? Stubble under your arms? A pimple on your back? Please. This is all part of you, and your partner adores every inch of you. Since there are no inhibitions and nothing is holding you back, the sex is amazing because the focus is on the two of you and your connection. When it’s at the other end of the spectrum and you couldn’t care any less about the guy, it’s also amazing but in different ways. Your inhibitions are down and you’re more willing to experiment and try things you wouldn’t normally be comfortable with. You feel freer with your body and your sexuality, and that confidence exudes as sexiness, making it a thousand times hotter. I think the best sex I’ve ever in terms of a single experience was a combination of these two. It was with my then boyfriend who I was head over heels in love with, and we decided to do some role playing. We were at a bar and we pretended we were complete strangers meeting for the first time. he bought me a drink, we danced, and then he took me home. The rush of reliving our first night together (but now as a couple) was overwhelmingly good. I cried when I came. I’m not kidding. It was that good I just couldn’t control the tears of ecstasy leaking from my eyes. Is that a little sappy and ridiculous and melodramatic? Of course. But it was the most amazing night of my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Have fun, Gemma.

*Need a question answered? Ask Gemma.

 

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Intimate Encounters is a new column I'll be writing for Her Campus ND and I decided to become a part of it because I want people (especially women) to start feeling comfortable with their sex life. I’m not here to lecture, preach, or tell you that everything that I have done or will do in my sex life is the right or wrong thing to do. I’m going to talk about mistakes that I’ve made, amazing experiences that I’ve had, firsts (a lot of firsts), funny stories, awkward moments, and people that have made a difference in the woman I’ve become. Hopefully I’ll also be able to answer any questions you might have-- seriously, no shame.
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