To all of those who are in disbelief that getting set up by friends actually works out, I’ve got good news for you. My parents met in the mid-nineties after being set up by their married friends. Fast forward a few years, they were walking out, hand-in-hand, of St. Rose Catholic Church together; and my mom was carrying me within the year. We don’t really think about our parents as young adults. We weren’t in existence, so how could we imagine it?
When you look for a serious partner, you need to know you’ll be happy with them for the rest of your life. It sounds elementary, but you should feel more than just, “They’re pretty chill.” I’ve seen my parents make so many inside jokes together over the years that I still don’t understand. They (mostly) enjoy the same movies, and you’ll always catch them watching The Bachelor together every Monday night. Ever since we brought my two dogs home, I’m convinced that my parents like being around them more than me based on how much they coo over them together. Seriously, it scares me sometimes. Still, one of my favorite sights to see is when my parents make each other smile. The moment my dad walks through the garage door after a long day at work, my mom almost immediately gets up (unless she’s playing “Cooking Dash” on her iPad) to welcome him home. Happiness is the long-term goal in life, and my parents have shown me that it’s possible to be just as happy twenty years after you’ve met someone.
In case you needed a reality check, the world isn’t perfect, and love isn’t perfect either. My parents tend to get into little tiffs every once in a while, just like any other couple will. It used to make me feel very uncomfortable whenever they argued in front of me. Actually, it still does; but, I like to think that I understand it a bit better now. When my parents are bickering, I know that it comes from a place of love. My parents make each other better people, and when they’re in a fight, it’s because they see that the other has the potential to be better in that moment. Growth is a part of all relationships, and I’ve loved seeing my parents grow throughout the years.
Where does this growth come from, you might ask? It comes from acceptance of each other’s flaws. I’m not going to go into detail about my parents’ flaws, however, because they’d definitely get mad at me once they read this. Still, the two of them have gotten very good at finding the positives in each other. My mom has told me about how she admires my dad for having the heart to be willing to drop everything to help someone and make their day a bit brighter. Meanwhile, my dad will also tell me about how he admires my mom for jumping at any chance to be there for her children, even if it means writing a strongly-worded email to a teacher (I think she did that to my brother’s seventh-grade science teacher).
As I sit by myself on Valentines Day in the LaFun basement writing this feature, I’m reminded that we should remember to love what we’ve built together as friends and family. My parents have been partners for almost twenty years, and this day is a celebration of their relationship and the love that they furthered by having me and my brother…but mostly by having me (#favoritechild). I’m not a relationship expert on any sort of level, and I don’t pretend to be. However, I do believe that my parents’ marriage has taught me a thing or two about love—so thanks Mom and Dad!
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