Entering the college realm of dorm life is a right of passage. It’s such an intense process that some universities have entire questionnaires in order to pair students with their most compatible peers. After all, nobody in their right mind would want to room with his or her polar opposite for an entire year, or less if life is so miserable that a dorm transfer is necessary. Unfortunately, Notre Dame is not one of those universities that implements roommate surveys for its students, thus your freshman year roommate is a hit or miss experience. The only guarantee is that you will have a roommate of the same sex, other than that, one could only pray that the odds will ever be in your favor (Can’t stop with The Hunger Games references! HELP!).
Before coming to Notre Dame my intention was to be best friends with my roomie. We were going to do everything together, finish each other’s sentences, share clothes, crushes and ever other college experience I could think of. An older and wiser college friend informed me that this would likely be impossible, and she was right. But I was Catfished (Is that a verb?). We all know how dangerous internet first impressions can be, as your internet persona is very different that the individual you are in reality. Needless to say, my Midwestern roommate and I were not the best of friends and I struggled through most of my freshman year trying to be the perfect roommate and trying to tolerate the hostile environment in which I was forced to inhabit.
Having a bad roommate your freshman year can be unbearable, it not only puts a strain on your emotional well-being, but everything from your physical and mental stability can be effected. Sleep schedules are interrupted by inconsiderate door slams and light pollution, fears of entering your room could deprive you from a safe and quiet place to study, and illness can be onset by gross living habits, all depriving students from excelling at academics – making life terrible for all parties.
I could go into all of the reasons why my roommate and I were not compatible, but I would rather not relive it. Instead I’ll give you a few tips I could have benefitted from as a freshman with roommate problems.
1. Don’t be passive aggressive
Passive aggressiveness is the most infuriating habit anybody could have. I am really straightforward about things that bother me. Some people are put off by openness, and interpret it as being attacked and try to turn around the situation to be focused on your vices. But it is SO important to talk about your issues with your roommate. Otherwise, the problems each of you have will just fester and your friends will get really tired of how often you complain about your roommate (sorry, guys) and life will just get progressively worse. So, talk it out, whether it’s the fact that her toothpaste on the counter bothers you, or you trip over her shoes every morning. Talk about it and ask if something bothers her before you think of doing it.
2. Remember you don’t live alone anymore
Maybe the only way you can get ready in the morning is by turning on every light and dancing to music in the morning. But, if your roommate has a 11:00AM and you’re up by 8:00AM every morning, you’re going to have to adjust your lifestyle. There are mirrors and sinks in the bathrooms for a reason, so use them instead. I value my sleep, and being woken up to bright vanity lights and two lamps every morning was torture, even when addressed multiple times, I never received the respect I desired, resulting in countless instances of oversleeping due to interrupted sleep schedules. Additionally, don’t slam the doors, both early in the morning and late at night. Not only is it rude for your sleeping roommate, but for the rest of the girls in your hallway. It’s not that hard to take the extra five seconds to turn the handle to ensure it doesn’t slam,.
3. Roommate agreements mean nothing…
…but only if you make it so. The second you forget your part of the agreement, all bets are off. So, stick to your side of the bargain and don’t make any promises you can’t keep.
4. Don’t room with your best friend…
…unless you know for certain you two will be compatible. My friends and I talked so often about rooming and exhausted every possible combination until we figured out what would work best for all of us. Being mature adults, a friend of mine and I realized we were so opposite in every aspect, that there was no way the two of us could ever be roommates. A shared interest does not translate to shared living habits, and one person’s living quirks could wreak havoc on a relationship. Seriously, friendships end because of roommate drama.
If you are a freshman with a terrible roommate, or an upperclassman who didn’t realize rooming with your best friend wouldn’t work (I don’t feel bad for anybody who has done this), know that there is light at the end of the semester. Life get’s better. I know, because I’m rooming with my best friend. Which was basically my reaction when my roommate suggested us potentially rooming together next year because we’re having such an amazing experience thus far.
Roomie swag
I used to be confused about why people like their roommates so much, but this year, I find myself enjoying my life so much more now that I have a roommate I love. Here are a few things to look forward to for all you that are having a tough time right now:
1. Double the wardrobe! If you two share a similar enough size, your wardrobe instantly doubles, just remember to always ask first, or have an agreement. Just don’t borrow anything expensive or fragile.
2. Equal satisfaction with room messiness. There’s a peak messiness my roomie and I can tolerate and we kinda just check ourselves before anything gets out of hand. Except that moldy cup of OJ; not cool, Emily.
Sometimes we disagree…
3. Getting sad when your roommate isn’t in the room and waiting around for her to get back so that you can talk about your uneventful, but somehow interesting day with her.
4. Eating ice cream and watching respective Netflix shows together on a Friday night being perfectly acceptable and even encouraged as a form of mandatory roomie bonding.
5. Habits rubbing off on each other. Sometimes I catch my roommate saying things with a slightly more Valley Girl accent and sometimes I find myself speaking with a Dirty Jersey accent. I mean, I could probably pass for a castmember of Jersey Shore now. Just kidding, sorry Emily.
Emily Morgan is my hero.