Yeah bitches, it’s finals. Don’t let that statement create a twinge of self pity. Don’t complain about finals. Don’t pretend you’re not a high achieving, competitive young woman in the peak of your physical health and mental acuity. We Notre Dame women have been raised, educated, and tempered to compete at exactly this sport, the sport of final exams.
With that in mind, brace yourself, the perfect storm that is finals week is about to hit. At the end of the week, when the skies clear, you want to be the one still standing on the deck of the boat, and not one of the weaker souls strewn in the water below.
The last thing you want to be thinking about is what to wear. But what you wear is actually super important, I mean, what if you meet your future husband in your chem final? No, I’m being facetious, that’s the kind of logic idiotic women use. We’re going to trample all over them come exam time! Here are some fashion tips to make sure you come out on top.
Sports Bras
Set aside enough sports bras right now so that you have one for every day of finals week. If you happen to own shirts with built in bras, this is even better. Now you’ve eliminated the putting on of an entire article of clothing, and shortened your dressing routine by perhaps multiple seconds. Some of you might be thinking sports bras all week is unnecessary. But when it comes to exam time do you want to be that silly girl wearing a regular, much less aerodynamic bra that’s simply holding her back? If you only wear sports bras all through finals week you can sprint from one building to the next. Finish your exam, and you’re off to the library at a full out gallop, knocking down anyone that might stand in your way or cross your path.
Elastic Waistband Pants
Avoid pants that require belts. Avoid pants that require a lot of zipping or buttoning. Avoid pants that are stiff. Stick to materials that move with the body. Think jeggings, leggings, yoga pants, sweat pants, perhaps a comfort fit over-all which would save the time of having to put on a shirt. One innovative friend of mine, someone that shall remain nameless but stands as a shining example of a finals week all-star, went so far as to wear maternity pants during finals week. I know what you’re thinking, they could potentially be too loose and end up requiring a belt or suspender to hold them up, completely negating the time saving and comfort earning purposes of the pants. But, if you manage to find a pair of maternity pants that stay up on their own, hold on to those my friend! They’re usually so baggy that they can be put on in an instant, their waste band is super roomy allowing for all kinds of stress binge eating, and they have a lot of pockets where one can keep pens and snacks so you need never leave your study space.
Low Rise Footwear
Footwear is one of the most important fashion choices during finals week. You’re going to see plenty of girls walking about in their Bean Boots and Uggs as if this was just another week on campus. They might as well be wearing stilettos at the roller derby for all the sense that makes. Uggs and Bean Boots constrict the ankle, and do not allow for full rotation. I’m going to give you a common finals week scenario: You head to the library. You see from afar that there is one available seat at whatever your preferred study location is. At the same time you see this seat, another girl does. You have on Uggs and she has sneakers, or crocs, or sperrys, or any other low rise shoe. Who makes it to the seat first? Answer: the person with the full ankle rotation. Another question: who has an easier time getting the blood stains off their shoes? Not the girl in Uggs. The next consideration is to avoid laces, and go for a sole that grips well.
Solid Colors
You’re going to want to avoid patterned clothing this week. That seems like a strange suggestion right? I know, bright, obnoxious patterns can often distract people when they’re trying to concentrate, and prohibit the competition from studying effectively. But here’s the thing, if you wear loud clothing people will notice it. In the heat of finals, everyone will know that you’ve stopped showering, changing your clothes, or going back to your dorm room at all. It’s also a good idea to avoid black and other dark colors which show crumbs, dander, and dust which your clothes are surely going to accumulate.
Keep your head up ladies. Don’t let roommates, friends, or boyfriends tell you that you look gross or deranged. They’ll look gross and deranged when they don’t make Dean’s List.