This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Notre Dame chapter.
As a graduating senior, I feel that I have both the honor and duty to relay my old
lady Senior wisdom to the neatly dressed youngins who still consider reading
homework and have at least a slight chance at fitting in their jeans from sophomore
year of high school. Like all of your sisters, brothers, graduated friends, parents,
bouncers, etc. have told you, your time here at Notre Dame will fly by. Trust me, in
the blink of an eye, Reckers will transform from an oasis of bliss that made you feel
at home to an unfamiliar spectacle of discomfort that makes you wonder when its
too early to start thinking about Medicare.
In Notre Dame chick years, I am “old.” I am really, really old. No, not as old as that
hockey kid that still questionably goes here, but still relatively old. I have said
farewell to beloved band-aid skirts and not-so beloved Rectresses, and traded in my
Hip-hop night stilletos for South Bend cruising roller blades. No longer do I seek the
council of my roomates when dealing with emotional issues, but only to my weekly
grouping of new “best friends” in the Fever bathroom.
For the first and last six weeks of my HC stint and college career, I hope to offer
some creative ideas and helpful advice that I wish someone had bestowed upon me
(or people I have encountered). I also think it would be entertaining to set out five
goals for the week, and my progress to achieve these goals (or according to some,
my failure to be a functioning and productive member of society).
DO NOT:
1. Do not walk home from Fever, especially in the dead of winter without shoes on.
You will get frost-bite and potentially need crutches. (Note: an unmarked van is not
a viable alternative. Said option could result in what is debatably an abduction.)
2. Never, ever, use a fake ID at Finnies. I don’t care if all your friends are studying
abroad. Shockingly, this plea does not transfer to a get-out-of-six-citations-free card.
The glory of the grime and the allure of the new popcorn machine are just not worth
it. HEED MY WORD!
3. If you crack your iPhone, deal with it or buy a fix-it-yourself kit online. Do not
Google search and/or venture to any “repair shops” in South Bend.
4. Dressing up as a Mormon housewife is a great option for Halloween, if you are
willing to take the plunge. Be warned, however, that this can result in somewhat
disturbing experiences, which can include: buying your own drinks… all night, being
physically removed from the dance floor, and being asked whether or not you are
dressed as the lead singer of Scissor sisters or Helen Keller.
5. As you begin to plan your senior year Spring Break, do not be fooled by
promotional videos produced by trip planning agencies offering all-inclusive
packages. Why you might ask? Because one or more of the following will happen.
You will arrive at a hotel surrounded by barbed wire.
You will have to walk 20 minutes every day to eat or see the ocean.
You will have your hotel door opened at 4am by “security guards” allowing
unidentified grown men to enter your room.
You will spend your time in a marina where stray cats are more abundant than
people.
Last but not least, you will be ripped off. There is nothing “Xtreme” about watered
down drinks in hot lunch sippy cups.
DO + DARE :
1. Apply, or at least attempt, to get a part-time job at Waka Dog. Two gold stars
for getting hired.
2. Go to Salsas, Finnies, Oyster Bar, the Linebacker, and Mulligans in one night.
Bonus points for completing task while wearing retro suitpant dress.
3. Work in the kitchen of Vesuvios, DOUBLE bonus points for not eating any of
the pizza. (2 Calories Saving Points)
4. Make someone question my gender. Bonus point if the gender someone
guesses is not male and/or female.
5. Challenge Finnies bouncer to Pop-A-Shot and/or arm wrestling match
in exchange for my $5 cover. Bonus points for getting him to share the
emotional significance behind at least one of his tattoos.
GET EXCITED.
Until next week,
The Trailblazer