Emily Dauer is a sophomore brunette but is surprisingly so much more than that. She hails from sunny Seattle as the locals call it for obvious reasons and graces the Notre Dame campus as an FTT major (she’s also History but as a fellow FTT major I will disregard that for other obvious reasons). When the world isn’t ending in a week-long polar vortex, Emily is often found riding her skateboard around campus because she is cooler than you are. An aspiring funny person, Emily is a writer/actress/poet/feminist/rapper. She asked me not to include any of that information but hey, what can she do about it? Due to Emily’s hilarity, this interview was a NIGHTMARE. Here is what I could salvage:
Hey Emily, thanks for doing this.
Emily: You’re welcome.
Where do you live?
Emily: Pangborn. You know I live in Pangborn.
No I know, but like, it’s a formality.
Emily: Oh. Right.
Get it together.
Emily: Right, right. Sorry.
Is there anything you want to be remembered for at Notre Dame?
Emily: Well, sometimes I wonder, what would the student body have done if I hadn’t eaten 14 quarter dogs in three minutes?
Did that actually happen?
Emily: Next question, please.
You appear in a lot of shows around campus. What else do you do in your free time?
Emily: When I have time to organize this, I want to be the queen of an off campus sorority called Delta Gamma Waffles. We would excel in beauty napping and making poor choices.
That sounds amazing.
Emily: It will be.
What is something people don’t know about you?
Emily: I’m actually the announcer for all of the 3rd quarter football safe driving announcements since I’ve been on campus. The ones with the puns. The transition was so smooth, people have been said to “not believe me.”
Sounds pretty unbelievable.
Emily: I don’t know why I would lie about that.
Favorite memory at ND?
Emily: I saw a rabid squirrel eat a whole waffle once. Wait, what was the question?
Thanks to Emily for answering my questions. For all your party needs, Emily can be reached if you stand on South Quad and yell “EMILY!!”
(This human being will be famous one day and it’s going to be really awkward when your grandkids say “hey did you know Emily?” and you say “no” even though you went to school with her so think ahead, people.)