You know the saying, “Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter”? Yeah, I hate clichés as much as you. But, my roommate has it pasted on our wall as a constant reminder of its innate accuracy. And it’s true.
I think too many people get caught up with being concerned with how other people perceive them. It’s a common affliction in modern society. Everything from our digital persona to how we portray ourselves in real life has been so carefully constructed that even when you’re having a sincere conversation with somebody, there is no way to determine if you are speaking to a real person, or merely the person they decide to be that day.
People worry about whether or not others judge them, what they wear, the kind of music they listen to, how they wear their hair, insignificant and other superficial things nobody actually notices. When it comes down to it, none of that really matters because people actually don’t notice the dumb little thing you said last week, or when you tripped down the stairs, or that one time you made out with a hotdog. But seriously, it’s petty to judge somebody based on a few experiences and doing that just makes you a really bad person, really.
It’s an immature high school-ish thing to do. As a self-proclaimed sociologist after having experienced one-third of an intro level sociology class, I have intensive knowledge of the workings of the adolescent mentality. Kids in high school “stick to the status quo” as HSM so eloquently states. They have this weird desire to want to fit in, so they change everything about themselves, their appearance, vernacular, interests and sometimes even intelligence levels. I’ve lost a friend or two because they tried so hard to fit in with a crowd of people who were so different that they forgot how to be a friend. It’s a little embarrassing to see people do this in college as well, because everybody can see how hard you’re trying to be something completely different from what you really are.
We all have our own issues and problems. The harsh reality is that nobody really cares about you. Humans are really selfish. We are far too concerned with our own insignificant lives to give a second thought about that weird kid who got too drunk and danced a little too wild at a party that one time.
So, embarrass yourself. Slip and fall in a puddle or on a strip of black ice and laugh about it. Listen to really bad pop music in your dorm room and dance really fricken crazy at your next SYR. Because you are better than everybody else there. Take “célfies” in public places because you are stunning. Drop your food in the dining hall and take a bow as everybody applauds your public display of clumsiness. Answer a question wrong in class on purpose and laugh as your classmates get angry that you’re wasting precious class time. Wear that striped shirt and floral skirt that everybody said didn’t match because YOU love it, and that’s all that matters. Trust, I’ve done all of these at least once and they have been by far the most liberating experiences I have had.
I’m not even going to apologize for bumpin’ Drake’s NWTS
So, don’t change who you are just because you think a boy will suddenly fall in love with you or a girl will want to be your best friend. Do your own thing. If people want to associate with you based on what you say or believe, then great! If they don’t, then a life of solitude is also pretty fun. But in all honesty, be awkward and socially inept if that’s who you really are. People will appreciate you being genuine a lot more than trying too hard to be accepted. However, I’m usually bad at giving advice, and this is no exception. I usually act very nonchalantly and disinterested in people to the point where everybody thinks I hate them, then they actually get to know me and find out I’m really rad. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but, I’m pretty cool without trying.
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