There are many things I admire about Chimamanda Adichie. She is one of six kids, just like me. She was raised in a university town, just like me. Chimamanda Adichie is a writer and lecturer, and her TEDtalk “The Danger of the Single Story” is arguably one of the most refreshing points calling out the root of many social conflicts. In this lecture, Adichie aims to give example and overview to an idea that shows itself prolifically: We are quick to make assumptions about a general group based off of one given situation.
Recently, I interjected myself into a social media situation in which I saw what I considered to be a bad reaction towards a posting of a Her Campus article about Greek life. There is a rather familiar story found in the greek system: Excitement about a new environment with a new group of people. The rest of this story for every person is a spider web that can go in any direction. A girl joining a sorority could end up President of her chapter by senior year. Maybe another would drop out a month into pledging.
The thing is, within the greek system, there are an endless and variant amount of stories.
As a former sorority girl, I found it extremely frustrating to go onto social media and see Facebook statuses and tweets talking badly about those in sororities and fraternities. I frequently see people posting things calling us “people who pay for their friends,” or “notoriously drunk and stupid.” I had to weigh the worth of defending myself, ultimately deciding I probably wouldn’t change these peoples’ minds with my words and that continuing to make good decisions was the best thing I could do.
Scrolling further into my feed, my bitter mood would quickly be cured by a reminder for our philanthropy event in the upcoming week. I would read that Relay for Life was coming up and a fellow sister had surpassed her fundraising goal. Or maybe I would read that a recently graduated sister had just been proposed to and was moving to a beautiful location with her new fiancé.
On the inside looking out, it hardly seems worth it to harp on the bad wrap when you know the good for yourself. Spreading the good is much more worth our time. However, it is difficult for people to focus on promoting the good of their organization rather than being upset about hearing the bad. The good and happy stories are frequently undermined by peoples’ assumptions of “the sorority girl” and “the frat dude.”
Unfortunately, I did not see sisterly interchanges over the review of this Her Campus article.
At first, a reader had commented that greek life members were trying very hard to beat the stereotypes pointed out in the article and that she was upset. I was very glad to see this posted. It is good to know that there are other people out there trying to better the flaws that do come with a portion of stories in the system. Progressively, responses became more blameful of the girl undergoing the experience rather than the people who were a part of making that experience what it was.
This, to me, ties back to what Chimamanda Adichie eloquently discussed in “The Danger of the Single Story.” The initial article written was to speak on one person’s experience in Greek life. Many people would agree with the things that she said. Many people would disagree with the things she said. In a fit of rage, I cranked out a survey that I had both Notre Dame and non-Notre Dame students fill out. I wanted to get people’s perspectives on greek life. Below are some questions and answers received:
1. What is the purpose of the greek system?
“It’s a way to develop close friendships and networks and create bonds with people in your class that share similar values and aspirations. Whether or not this is how it actually works is probably dependent on particular cases.”
“I think the purpose of Greek life is to help immerse oneself into the school, network, build your resume and to just help make those valuable and embarrassing college memories.”
“To continue to promote the concept of the clique by uniting groups of the same type of people and molding them to fit a certain standard. This creates a false sense of community that excludes others.”
2. What are three words you would use to describe YOUR perception of the greek system?
“Leaders, community, connected.”
“Friendship, superficial, exclusion.”
“Service, community, and sisterhood.”
3. If you had the opportunity to partake in the greek system, would you? Why or why not?
“Yes, because I think it’s extremely beneficial both socially and for potential career networking to be friends with people you otherwise wouldn’t have met.”
“No, I wouldn’t. I do not believe it incorporates inclusivity in its agenda.”
“I didn’t, but in retrospect I may have adjusted to freshman year better as a member of a sorority.”
4. If you’re a part of the greek system, what would you change about it? (If not in greek system, type N/A)
“More sober events and intentional gatherings.”
“The stereotypes that all Greek life does is party because it is so much more than that.”
“People should only get involved with a fraternity or sorority if it actually feels right for them – nobody should “settle” for one just for the sake of being in Greek life. Too many people who go Greek just for the sake of going Greek slip through the cracks, and I feel like this is where many of the bad eggs and a lot of the drama come from. Rush, the interview process, and pledging process should be more geared towards determining a person’s fit in the organization and their commitment level. There should also be a more efficient means of finding alternatives for people who kind of don’t want to be so involved but are in too deep and are starting to have a negative experience. The infrastructure for supporting struggling members just isn’t there in a lot of cases.”
The main point I want people to take away from these responses is that there are answers fitting to nearly any position in the spectrum. Where do we find productivity in belittling those who only see the bad in the parts of our lives they don’t agree with? Responding to the negative with more negative does not make whatever association you are fighting for look better. It merely digs a deeper hole for the fight you are trying to stand for.
I’d like to tie this back to Greek life in particular. My experience as a sorority sister was cut short from my decision to transfer to Notre Dame. Had I decided to stay, I am not sure that the sorority life would have ended up being for me after all. There were commitments I was too afraid to make. However, I gained incredible friends. Every now and then I will get a message from an old sister simply saying, “Just wanted to let you know we all miss you!” Those messages make my week. Come time for my old sorority’s philanthropy events, I go into an insane and crazed “facebook-liking” fit of photos at the events and statuses about money raised for our foundation. In fact, I’m hoping to complete a project aiming to tie transfer student greek life ties to their affiliated foundations to continue earning money for them.
The point I am trying to make is this: Greek life is not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean good doesn’t come from them. Every former Greek life member I have met upon my arrival to Notre Dame has been nothing short of impressive and driven. Girls in my past sorority showed themselves to be eloquent, hard-working and caring women. We have people on every point of the spectrum of Greek life’s existence.
So, let us not generalize and provoke the dangers of a single story.