Somewhere in the midst of moving into my dorm, saying my goodbyes, and being thrown into the outrageously awkward Frosh-O festivities, I felt something I fought so hard to ignore: Loneliness.
I panicked. I missed my friends who were all scattered across the country, and in a moment of weakness, I questioned whether I should have just gone the comfortable route to a state school like the rest of my high school graduating class.
As a college student, especially a freshman in a new home surrounded by 8,000 strangers, this feeling is inevitable. When you make an inside joke or reference to an old favorite movie and no one understands you, that’s when it hits you that college is going to be different.
You’re torn between holding on to past relationships and reaching out for new college friendships that you want to happen magically overnight.
However, this is the truth: You can’t rush perfection! True friendships aren’t created over superficial things. They are built by the bonding after crazy nights, horrendous classes, fun activities, etc. Don’t fret if you don’t feel like your group fits perfectly yet. It will come, slowly, but surely!
What about past high school friendships? Is it time to outgrow them? In this case, disregard Indina Menzel. Don’t let it go! Don’t shut out the past because it’s what got you here. It’s part of you, the person who Notre Dame wanted here! Plus, you want people to hang out with on winter and summer breaks when you’re back at home.
How do we handle this balancing act?
Make an effort to keep in contact with old friends through texts, phone calls, skype sessions, etc., but don’t let it dominate the beginning of your college life. If you’re always on your phone texting old friends, you might miss out on what’s going on in the present. Don’t skype every day, but seeing an old familiar face could save you on a miserable day.
Also, if you really need to avoid home-sickness, consider doing a social media detox for the first couple months of school. For the most part, you do not need to see what all your old high school classmates are up to and even though they might look like they’re having fun because of some picture they posted. Pictures can often be deceiving. Plus, people waste on average around 120 minutes a day on their phone, and in that free time, you can be off meeting people!
Final thoughts:
Being alone isn’t a bad thing! Think of yourself as a lone wolf! There’s a difference between budding independence and loneliness, choose to live out the former. Take this time to figure out who you are, what you really like, and who you want to be!
Eventually you will reach a point where you stop caring and you start living! You’ll stop avoiding the dining hall when you can’t find someone to go with because now you know you’re bound to find someone you know there. You’ll stop dreading those lone walks to classes because a week later you’ll realize as you walk to your first class of the day, you will feel like Miss America as wave to all these newly familiar faces.
And finally, as the days keep flying by and become surprisingly busy, you pause among the craziness and realize all that you feared before is just a distant memory. To quote The Fault in Our Stars, “I fell in love (with Notre Dame) like you fall asleep… slowly, then all at once.”
Follow the HCND Pinterest account and keep posted with HCND on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook!