This October, I find myself in the same bind as most other college aged females, I have roughly four opportunities to wear Halloween costumes, have a very limited wardrobe, and absolutely no expendable cash. PANIC!
All the other girls probably have tons of slutty costumes! Or they’re really creative and sew and have the most impressive costumes ever. They probably have an abundance of strange clothes that can be easily manipulated into costumes. They have plenty of extra cash to buy slutty costumes!
Or, you could not panic. Take a minute and remember: Most people look stupid on Halloween. We are young adults and not children, this is not really halloween, this is just an excuse to wear very revealing clothes and not be called names. You merely need to make a small amount of effort so that boys can see you and say “Ohh you’re a ____?” and you can say “Yes,” and proceed to have a pleasant conversation, unless he’s an oaf, then you can simply nod and slip away.
I took some time to think about this logically, and I came up with a list of potential Halloween costumes that do not require you to spend any money, and are unmistakeable.
Pocahontas: Take an extra large brown t shirt. Cut off the sleeves. Cinch the waste. Wear a headband around your forehead and attach a feather to the back. Draw a tattoo around your arm with red marker.
Pam from the office: Wear a frumpy button down blouse and businessy skirt, with white keds. Curl your hair. Find a tall brown haired man to also wear business casual, and write book on his face.
A secretary: Wear tight, trashy business casual clothing and glasses. Yay feminism!
Something scary: Everyone will be shocked. Cake your face in white make up, and use lipstick to make yourself bloody. Use black eyeshadow to appear ashy. Take a white t shirt and shred it up.
Leprechaun: Wear a lot of green. Overalls or suspenders would be great. Carry around a box of lucky charms.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s: Wear a black cocktail dress, sock-bun the hair, ballet flats or heels. Wear pearls or glittery rhinestone accessories. A cigarette holder would complete the look.
Wilma Flinstone: Take a white t shirt, cut off the sleeves and go a bit further, making it a one shoulder. Then cut the bottom in a zig zag pattern. Cinch the waist. Wear pearls. Cut out a paper bone and put it in your up-do.
A mom: Don some mom jeans, and a frumpy 90s sweater. Walk around with a paper bag that has your child’s name on it. Give out free hugs all night.
Angel: White dress, white shirt and skirt, white pants even. Just wear a white outfit and white shoes. Wear white, glittery make-up, and rouge your cheeks. Take two white hangers and tape them together at the neck. Tape these to your back as wings. Cut a halo out of yellow construction paper.
Unicorn: If you own purple pants, this is possible. Wear the purple pants with a purple top. Cut out four little card board hooves, color them purple and tape them to your shoes. Finally, affix a purple paper horn to your head.
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